6 ways to keep children from becoming desensitized to violence
A developmental pediatrician explains why supervision, conversations, and family time matter more than simply banning violent content
Published Jul 11, 2026 03:38 pm
(Artwork: Nancy Marie Andam)
Violent content has become almost impossible to avoid. Children may encounter it while watching movies, scrolling through social media, playing video games, or even following the news.
While many parents worry that violent content will make children violent, developmental pediatrician Dr. Jack Herrin says the bigger concern is something more subtle—desensitization.
Repeated exposure to violence can gradually make harsh language, disturbing scenes, and harmful behavior seem ordinary. This doesn't mean every child who watches violent content will become aggressive, but it does mean parents have an important role in helping children understand what they see. Dr. Herrin shares six ways parents can help.
1. Spend more time with your children.
The most effective way to protect children starts away from the screen. "If you can spend more time with your kids, you get to know them better," Dr. Jack tells Manila Bulletin Lifestyle. Simple routines, such as sharing meals together, can lead to meaningful conversations.
He encourages families to ask one another about both the best and the most difficult parts of the day. When parents also share their own experiences, children learn that it's safe to talk about their feelings instead of keeping them to themselves.
2. Watch together and talk about what you see.
Children don't always understand the themes behind the movies, shows, or games they enjoy. Without guidance, they may struggle to separate fantasy from reality or recognize when a character's choices go against the values parents hope to teach.
Dr. Jack says watching together creates opportunities for discussion. After seeing a film with his own children, they often talk about the characters, the decisions they made, and what they would have done differently. Those conversations help children process difficult themes instead of simply absorbing them.
3. Don't ignore violent language.
Today's games and online communities often include phrases such as "I'm going to kill you" or other violent threats. Repeated exposure can make these expressions feel normal. "It's like cursing. Once you use the word too often, you're desensitized."
He encourages parents to pay attention not only to what children are watching or playing, but also to the language they begin using in everyday life.
4. Teach children that there are better ways to solve conflict.
When disagreements happen, children need to learn that violence is not the only solution.
For younger children, especially, parents should demonstrate that problems can be resolved through communication, creativity, and self-control instead of pushing, hitting, or hurting someone else. Even when teaching children how to respond to bullying, Dr. Jack says defending oneself does not automatically mean fighting back physically.
5. Remember that children copy adults.
Parents are often more influential than the content children consume. He notes that children learn as much from what adults do as from what they say. If parents lose their temper on the road or argue aggressively with others, children receive mixed messages about resolving conflict. By modeling patience, respect, and self-control, parents reinforce the very values they hope to instill.
6. Supervise instead of simply banning.
Dr. Jack acknowledges that completely shielding children from violent content isn't realistic. Instead of relying only on restrictions, he encourages parents to stay involved in what children are watching, playing, and discussing with friends.
"The digital space is also a public place where we have to protect our children," he reminds. Children will inevitably encounter violence as they grow up. What matters is not simply what they watch, but whether trusted adults are there to help them understand it. By staying involved and having open conversations, parents can remind children that violence should never be accepted as normal.