The recent tragic school shootings in Tacloban involving minors have prompted calls for stricter gun control measures and lowering the age of criminal liability. Such initiatives may have some value, but they will accomplish little unless we confront a more fundamental problem: the steady erosion of parental discipline.

Every social crisis is ultimately a moral crisis before it becomes a legal one. Metal detectors, security guards, surveillance cameras, and harsher penalties may help protect schools from external threats, but the first and most effective defense against violence remains the moral formation that takes place at home. If we hope to build a safer society, we must begin by strengthening the family, for it is within the home that children first learn responsibility, self-control, compassion, and respect for others.

Sadly, the UP Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study reports that about one in three Filipino youth have, at some point during their upbringing, lived without both biological parents in the home. Many are left to seek guidance from relatives or, worse, from virtual “elders” who often monopolize their waking moments: The social media influencers, internet celebrities, movie and television personalities, and even video game characters whom they admire and imitate as role models.

Laws can restrain wrongdoing, but only a well-formed conscience can prevent it. The greatest safeguard of any society is therefore found in mothers and fathers who lovingly teach their children the difference between right and wrong and who have the courage to correct them when they go astray.

I once witnessed a young boy bullying one of his playmates. His mother glared at him and asked, “What’s wrong with you?” Yet moments later she gently patted him on the back without correcting or disciplining him. Such mixed signals can confuse a child. Instead of feeling guilty for doing wrong, he may conclude that something is inherently wrong with him. He will probably grow up offering this excuse for his misdeeds “I can’t help it. I was born this way.”

Many parents hesitate to discipline their children because our increasingly permissive culture places such a high premium on personal freedom, self-expression, and tolerance. Discipline is often portrayed as manipulative and authoritarian. Also, many parents want their children to treat them more as friends than as parents.

Effective discipline corrects behavior without diminishing the child's dignity. It should never be confused with punishment or the harsh enforcement of rules. Its purpose is to teach children that they cannot always have what they want, that every action has consequences, and that the rights and dignity of others deserve respect. Without such formation, they may develop an unhealthy sense of entitlement and a lack of social responsibility.

Today's Gospel offers a timely challenge to parents who hesitate to exercise their God-given authority. Jesus declares, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37).

These words remind us that parental love is measured not merely by its intensity but by the way it is expressed. A parent may love a child deeply, yet that love can become harmful when it is detached from the responsibility to guide and correct the child when necessary. Jesus calls parents to place truth, goodness, and God's will above even their strongest emotional attachments.

A child’s character must be formed early in life because harmful habits, once deeply ingrained, are difficult to unlearn. Poor choices leave lasting scars, and destructive ideas, once firmly rooted, are not easily uprooted. Disciplining children may be unpopular today, but, as the Letter to the Hebrews reminds us, “The Lord disciplines the one he loves” (Hebrews 12:6). Discipline is not the opposite of love; it is one of love's highest expressions.

For parents who abdicate their sacred responsibility to guide their children along the right path and instead entrust that task to virtual “elders,” like cellphones, television, and the internet, God has this stern warning: “If you do not tell the wicked to turn from their ways and save their lives, I will hold you accountable for their blood” (Ezekiel 3:18–20).