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Joyful grieving and estate planning

Published Mar 19, 2026 12:01 am  |  Updated Mar 18, 2026 09:24 am
We carefully plan our vacations, business trips, and even weekend getaways. Yet, who knows when we will take that “inevitable journey” of no return? If we don’t know when it will happen, how do we plan for it?
A recent experience shared by my good friend Veronica “Onnie” Lorenzana (of George and Onnie’s fame) highlights this unpredictability: “With my children and grandchildren—a total of 20—we departed Manila on February 28 for a long stopover in Dubai. We took off for Istanbul, but after flying for two hours, the pilot announced a diversion to Cairo to refuel because airspace was unavailable. God spared us from the stress of knowing that about 30 minutes after our take-off, Dubai airport was bombed! While we were flying for those two hours, missiles were flying below our aircraft. We are now back home as of March 10 instead of March 8. All praise to God in Jesus’ name!”
The loss of a loved one is among the most stressful experiences anyone can endure. Its impact is not only emotional but also physical, relational, financial, and spiritual. Innovative entrepreneur Riva Galvez Tan, founder of Joy Grieving (and daughter of former Secretary of Health Jaime Galvez Tan), notes that grief can even affect a person’s immune system. Because of this, she offers personalized memorial services that coordinate the entire process to help ease the burden on grieving families.
Riva’s advocacy stems partly from a family experience. When her mother, Beth, nearly died of COVID-19, Beth calmly and proactively gave instructions for her affairs. Riva describes the experience as a kind of “death rehearsal,” which inspired the idea of a pre-departure program—preparing for the inevitable while we are still healthy and able to think clearly.
The program includes the LIVE tribute, short for Loving, Intentional, Valuable, and Encouraging. Instead of hearing kind words only at a funeral, the individual can listen to heartfelt tributes from family and friends while still alive. The idea is simple but powerful: why wait until someone has passed away to express appreciation?
Participants are also encouraged to prepare a meaningful manual titled, “How to Live Without Me.” In it, they share practical guidance, life lessons, family values, and even small everyday details to help loved ones adjust after they are gone. According to Riva, this may be one of the most loving gifts a person can leave behind.
Practical preparation matters just as much. This is where estate planning comes in. Estate planning is the process of determining how your assets, properties, and responsibilities will be managed after your death. It provides clear guidance and helps protect the people you leave behind. Without a plan, families may face confusion, legal disputes, increased taxes, and delays in asset distribution, adding unnecessary stress during an already difficult time.
According to Jasmine Santos, head of PNB Trust, the first step in estate planning is to determine your objectives. List all assets and liabilities. Assets may include cash, investments (such as stocks and mutual funds), insurance policies, jewelry, vehicles, artwork, and real estate. It is equally important to list all debts, both short-term and long-term.
Ask yourself: Who inherits what? Generally, children receive equal shares, but are there vulnerable beneficiaries—minors, elderly parents, or individuals with special needs? Do you want to allocate a portion to advocacies or ministries? How should succession and business continuity be handled?
To carry out your wishes, it is vital to choose the right people. This may include an executor or administrator to manage the estate, trustees for any trusts created, and guardians for minor children. Consult a lawyer to draft legal instruments, such as a Last Will and Testament, to ensure your intentions are clearly documented and legally binding.
The best time to prepare for these matters is now, while you are healthy and of sound mind. Communicate, put it in writing, and don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Proper planning reduces misunderstandings, prevents conflict, and protects family relationships. It would be a tragedy for parents who worked hard to see their children quarrel over what was left behind.
Let us prepare for life’s inevitable final journey. It spares our families from confusion and pain, and it allows us to leave behind something far more valuable than wealth: clarity, peace, and gratitude.
Estate planning and joyful grieving help our loved ones move forward with strength, unity, and hope. But most importantly, as we approach that inevitable journey, we should know where we are going. As a good reminder this Holy Week, John 14:6 tells us: Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.”
Ms. Tarriela is a professional banker. A gardener and environmentalist, she founded Flor’s Garden in Antipolo.

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Financial Executives Institute of the Philippines (FINEX)
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