As a family psychologist, I often remind parents of one simple truth: Before they were mom and dad, they were partners. This partnership still needs attention.

We tend to prioritize our children so much that we forget to strike a balance. It’s not about loving them less. It’s about remembering that a healthy family begins with a steady partnership.

Here are five reminders to help parents strengthen their marriage while raising their children.

Resentment rarely explodes overnight. It grows quietly. Who did more chores? Who earned more? Who sacrificed more this week?

You can keep score for yourself. You keep score so you can raise your own standard and give more later on. But refrain from saying, “Why is this all you’re contributing?” That erodes relationships.

Let your private tally motivate you to love better, not to shame your partner. Often, when you are exhausted, your spouse is quietly compensating in ways you may not immediately see.

Some people speak up when something feels off. Others stay quiet and endure. Conflict often starts when we assume our way is the only correct way to show love.

In terms of what we give as a couple, I notice that women speak their mind to change their environment, but men prefer to endure quietly. We need to accept that both of you want to love, but in different ways.

Recognizing intention changes the tone of the disagreement. It shifts the focus from “Why aren’t you like me?” to “I see that you’re trying.”

In many Filipino families, there is often someone who consistently steps in when others fall short. This may be emotional labor, financial support, or caregiving.

It’s a beautiful strength, but if one person carries that responsibility for too long, an imbalance follows. Healthy marriages rotate responsibility. Sometimes you step up. Other times, your partner does. Love feels lighter when it is shared.

It’s normal—and even healthy—to feel upset or angry. But anger is not the enemy. The real problem is the imbalance beneath it.

Anger can be a signal that expectations, workload, or communication need adjustment. Instead of attacking each other, talk through what feels unfair early. Left unchecked, resentment creates distance. Managed well, it becomes an opportunity for growth and reconnection.

Affection is not reserved for Valentine’s Day — it’s daily modeling.

My wife Jenny and I made a promise that we would always hold each other’s hands. We show affection openly. It’s not about perfection, but about reminding ourselves—and our children—that love is real, present, and visible.

Marriage is easier when you like each other, and it’s true. Navigating marriage is so much nicer if you feel good about each other. Children are always observing. They learn from how you sit beside each other, how you speak during disagreements, and how you reconnect afterward. Hold hands. Sit close. Express appreciation openly. Show repair after conflict, not just conflict itself. When children witness warmth, respect, and affection, they internalize those patterns for their own relationships.

This Love Month, rediscover that “like.” Not just for yourselves, but for the home you are building together.