Asian Development Foundation College Inc.

Independence: a word that best describes youth, adulthood, and everything in between. It could be the first decision you made without seeking validation from others, or the moment when you finally stood up and owned the space that used to be desolate. In the long run, you’ve reached a point where hiding is no longer a choice, nor an option. And that’s reality right there—you are alone. Sure, “No man is an island,” but life is an autobiography, and you’re the author.

Growing up, I’ve dreamed of possessing supernatural abilities, as everyone does. I used to hold my breath, pretending I could live without the need for respiration, from lifting weights twice my size to numbing the sting of alcohol on my wounds from the fall of climbing a mango tree—everything, in an attempt to acquire the strength, immunity, and guts of a superhero.

Looking back, it’s quite a story to tell how I lived my childhood free of cost, or so I thought. As fate would have it, I would be spending the next 15 years of my existence at the expense of disappointment, after realizing that the dream had to sleep. Bills piled up, schoolwork flooded in, and time ticked away.

According to philosopher John Dewey, “we learn by doing.” He suggests that knowledge and skills are best acquired through active participation, hands-on practice, real-world application, and reflection, rather than just a passive process. In relation to this, were my efforts to measure up to the expectations of excelling in studies, extracurriculars, and pretty much in everything. I traded the cape and mask for a bag and uniform to be the real hero who will save his family’s future. And so, with all might, I strived to multitask and sacrifice.

After getting the hang of it, I was living the moment of thrill and fulfillment. However, as I climb the ladder of success, the higher I reach, the bigger the responsibilities placed on my shoulders. Tiring as it gets, I stumbled from the pinnacle. Everything has changed since then, and so have I.

Disoriented, my body acts aimlessly, taken over by mere muscle memory just to get by. Staying up late satisfies hunger more than eating does, pain is cured by silent procrastination, and the thirst for improvement remains unquenched after all the achievements. Moving yet stranded, like running in circles. Devoid of color within the confines of the house and school. I forgot the shade of a tree that casts underneath the summer sun, how the birds chirped to the hum of cool breeze, and the warmth of vast skies.

My six-year-old self would have pinched my ear after hearing me say “bahala na si Batman,” in every inconvenience and struggle that I’m in. Not because I’m weak and pessimistic, but because I was discrediting myself. For facing the fear of failure, for taking risks, rather than losing the chance, for showing up even when it’s late, instead of backing down and giving up. What an earful it would be if he discovered the pain I hide in smiles, the number of meals I skipped, and the desire to be the best when I already am. To be honest, he might even sob upon seeing me and how I’ve become.

It’s evident how dire my situation is and how hard I’m trying; no one has it easy anyway. Even if we can manage everything on our own, it is inevitable to feel the need for assistance. The urge to look back and hope that someone will be there to reassure that everything will be fine. We may carry it well, but that doesn’t mean it’s not heavy. If pressure is valid, so is exhaustion, and the need for help.

I used to think that superheroes were invincible, only to realize they do not even exist in the first place. They are just a bunch of fictional characters made to inspire and exploit creativity for profit. But if they were real, just like in movies, they couldn’t have succeeded without the help of their squad or sidekick. Similarly, in our world, humans are naturally interdependent; thus, one’s autonomy is exercised and maintained in relation to others, not in isolation. Life may be a book of your own story, but every encounter unfolds a page that completes each chapter.

From mere strangers to being friends, then becoming each other’s confidants, it is true that we don’t meet people by accident. There’s always a reason: It can be the greatest blessing to receive as a lifelong companion, or the most profound lesson that serves as an eye-opener for redirection. Regardless, these “seemed-trivial” encounters are powerful enough to rewrite the narrative and twist the plot. For me, it became a means to broaden my horizons and delve into the depths of hope rooted in trust and support. It became my source of determination and taught me to acknowledge my weaknesses as a common ground for growth.

Indeed, independence best describes youth, adulthood, and everything in between. As well as how life is an autobiography, and you’re the author of it. But take note: What defines living is care, compassion, and companionship. Be your own hero who’s strong enough to seek help from others. Because it’s you and them, who’s going to save the day—and who’s Batman, anyway?