"Congressmeow" Cavite 4th district Rep. Francisco "Kiko" Barzaga is facing a major cat-tastrophe--perhaps the first one of its kind so far in his adult life.

The predicament? Ports and casino magnate Enrique Razon has sued the suspended lawmaker for two counts of cyberlibel, and is asking for an accumulated P110 million in moral and exemplary damages.

This, after Barzaga alleged on social media that the former had bribed National Unity Party (NUP) solons into helping former House Speaker Leyte 1st district Rep. Martin Romualdez win in the May 2025 election.

Barzaga, who hails from a deeply-entrenched political dynasty in Dasmariñas, Cavite had probably believed that he could turn anybody into his personal punching bag up until Wednesday when Razon demonstrated how a gentleman handles conflict resolution.

While not exactly penniless--Barzaga is a congressman, after all--coughing up the P110 million in potential payables is a tall order for the 27-year-old, given his current situation.

He is serving a two-month suspension without pay for disorderly conduct since December, meaning he will have lost out on P600,000 in salaries once he returns to the House of Representatives in February; and based on his latest statement of assets, liabilities, and net worth (SALN), he is "only" worth P5.375 million.

Based on what we know, here are some of the ways that congressmeow Barzaga can pay off Razon's damages claims, hopefully during one of his nine lives:

To his credit, the eccentric Barzaga was among the first solons in the 20th Congress to release his SALN to the public.

His P5.375-million net worth declaration came with a caveat. He wrote in his SALN, "Not including untransferred, inherited assets from the late Congressman Pidi Barzaga: Vehicles, Dasmariñas Property, and Cash amounting to an estimated total of 35 Million PHP."

Whether or not the total inheritance from his late father can cover the sought damages remains to be seen.

The Barzaga patriarch passed away on April 27, 2024 due to a heart ailment. He was 74.

Barzaga is a social media savant who has broadened his audience a great deal since becoming a congressman on June 30, 2025. From having five-digit followers in June, both of Barzaga’s Facebook page now have over one million followers each.

Having a million followers on any platform is legitimate asset and the Gen Z lawmaker can take advantage of this (if not already). Barzaga can theoretically earn P25,000 per 500,000 monthly views through in-stream ads from his videos; earn up to P150,000 from brand sponsorships; tie up with platform or brands that can give him cuts per product units sold; give "paid shout-outs" worth up to P60,000; sell his own merchandise; or gain stars from livestreams.

However, a major roadblock to monetization is Barzaga’s main content, which is political commentary. While it can be monetized, it is restrictive and extremely risky.

The Dasmariñas solon's inflammatory posts have already gotten him in trouble with his House colleagues.

Speaking of his colleagues in the House, Barzaga--despite being a pariah--does have a few defenders,and admirers in the lower chamber.

Just two weeks ago, Barzaga was seen in a lunch meeting with Batangas 1st district Rep. Leandro Legarda Leviste and Kamanggagawa Party-list Rep. Eli San Fernando, supposedly about the flood control projects corruption scandal.

Leviste and another congressman in SAGIP Party-list Rep. Paolo Marcoleta have openly admired Barzaga for being an "independent voice" in the House despite routinely doing away with decorum.

Leviste, San Fernando, Marcoleta--along with Bagong Henerasyon Party-list Rep. Robert Nazal, and Quezon CIty 4th district Rep. Bong Suntay--were the five solons who opposed the recommendation to suspend Barzaga without pay for 60 days.

If congressmeow considers any of these persons as his friends, then perhaps he can ask them to chip in for his benefit.