Giving social media access to your kids early is – without a doubt – a bad idea. Social media is addictive, hurts your child’s mental health, exposes them to inappropriate content and cyberbullying, disrupts sleep, and makes them vulnerable to privacy risks and online predators.
The list goes on – so many dangers and drawbacks documented in various reputable studies saying the same thing: don’t give in. Keep your children off the juice. Do your kids a favor and hold off on exposing them to social media.
But it would be unreasonable to think they could go their whole lives without social media. So when is it ok to give in? What is the right age for social media?
While most platforms require users to be at least 13 years old, health experts argue that this is too young. Even though there is no hard line (yet) delineating acceptable and unacceptable ages for social media usage, it is generally considered that the longer you delay your kids’ dive into social media, the better it is for them. The U.S. Surgeon General recommends waiting until kids are at least 16 before allowing them on social media.
And because everyone’s into it (especially in the Filipino context), warding away social media off your kids will probably be hard. Parents would need to provide alternatives for socializing and entertainment. In implementing your no-social-media rule, you can try these:
Lead by example. There is no greater influence on a child than what they see from their parents. It would be exceedingly hard to preach to your children about the dangers of social media if they see you glued to your feed. No amount of justification would make them listen to you if they see that you can’t do it yourself. The Michigan State University emphasizes that parents should disconnect first if they want the same behavior from their children.
Try hobbies and sports. Whatever awakens their interests – whether it’s basketball, painting, learning an instrument, or playing Dungeons & Dragons – support it. Try a lot of different things to find what your kids will like. Children thrive when they have activities that keep them engaged.
Engage them with extracurricular activities – Find special-interest clubs, entice them to do volunteer work, let them join church and local youth groups. Not only will these train your children on the indispensable skill of being with other people, this will also occupy their time.
Bring back family time – Remember when the internet wasn’t a thing yet? Families used to play board games, watch TV together, do chores/projects with each other, and even go on weekend trips. Now we’re all living together separated by our personal devices.
Teach real-world social skills – Confidence stems from competence. Help kids develop their self-esteem by equipping them with real-world skills.
Prepping Against Peer Pressure
Your child would naturally feel left out if they’re the only one in their friend group without a social media account. In cases like this, it’s important not to be dismissive of their feelings.
Hash it out – Take time to explain why you’re setting these (seemingly overly strict) boundaries and how social media can affect their mental and physical health. When they understand the reasons behind it, it’s easier to get their buy-in on the rules you’re imposing.
Meet at the middle – If they really, absolutely, unequivocally want an online presence, you could meet your kid at the middle and let them use family-shared accounts or impose limits on screen time with clear rules.
Develop a family media plan – A clear, structured approach to media use can prevent a lot of headaches. When expectations and rules are unambiguous and understood, there is less chance for confusion. When social media use is treated as a privilege that children earn, the repercussions for misuse are easier to swallow.
Use parental controls – If they want to chat with friends, look for and use messaging apps with parental controls that fit your child’s needs.
Engage in co-use – If you want your child to be more mature about their social media use and consumption, doing it together could be the way for your family. When a parent participates in digital activities and discuss online content together, you are giving your child an invaluable resource: your wisdom, experience, and perspective in things they might not be ready for.
Team up with other parents – Peer pressure is unavoidable… unless all their peers are experiencing the same thing. Coordinate with your child’s school and build a community with your co-parents. Collective agreements on usage norms, clear boundaries, and a unified voice will make it easier to make children follow common guidelines.
Advocate for policy changes – If teaming up with other parents is effective, imagine how successful and easy it would be if there were broader societal shifts in social media usage. Support initiatives that aim to regulate children’s access to social media. If there’s nothing like that on the horizon, organize. Team up with more parents until your voices are heard. When you have the opportunity (like when candidates are campaigning), tell leaders about this concern. Don’t be silent. Speak up for your children.
We think that parents will do everything they can for their children. As a parent, will you be firm? Will you stand against what is harmful, even if it’s socially accepted? Will you take the time to co-use social media with your children? Will you take on the bother of coordinating with other parents? Will you actually vote for people who will champion your children’s welfare?
Parenting is hard. But done right, the rewards will be fruitful and will be enjoyed by descendants down the line. Right social media usage is one of those things that a parent should invest time and effort in.