Parents always hear about the “terrible twos and threes,” but nothing really prepares us for the day it arrives in full force. One minute, our toddler is sweet and giggly, and the next, we’re dealing with tears, kicks, and shrieks. For many parents, it can feel stressful and overwhelming, especially when the meltdowns happen at the worst possible moments.

According to Bernadette C. Benitez, MD, pediatrician at Makati Medical Center, this stage usually appears between 18 to 30 months. “At this age, they’re walking, climbing, and speaking in two-to-three-word sentences. They’re also starting to understand emotions, test boundaries, assert their independence, and realize that what they want may not necessarily agree with others. Most importantly, their nervous system is still highly immature, which makes it difficult for them to manage and regulate their big emotions,” explains Dr. Bernadette.

Here are some common real-life scenarios every parent encounters at this age, along with practical ways to respond so both you and your toddler can get through this challenging season with more confidence and calm.

Scenario: You’re lining up at the cashier to pay when your toddler suddenly lies down on the floor and starts to cry.

What to do: Stay calm. Bring your toddler to a quiet spot away from the crowd. A short walk or a change of scenery helps them cool down. Go down to their eye level and ask gentle questions such as “What’s bothering you?” and “How can I help?” “Applying deep pressure touches such as rubbing their back, holding their hand, and letting them sit on your lap can help settle their nervous system and make them feel comfortable and safe,” says Dr. Bernadette.

Scenario: You say no to another cookie or no to a toy. Your toddler drops everything and erupts.

What to do: Ignore the tantrum without reacting. The doctor advises, “By calmly ignoring the tantrum, you teach the child that their outburst is not an effective way to get what they want. This process helps the child learn to self-regulate and find better ways to express their feelings. Stay firm with your decision not to give in, and show them you mean business.”

Scenario: You ask a simple question and your toddler shoots back one answer—“No” over and over again.

What to do: Avoid yes-or-no questions. Offer choices instead: “Do you want to wear the blue shirt or the red one?” or “If you don’t pack away your toys, this will happen.” “You can also ask an older toddler what they prefer. By guiding them to make choices, you allow them to express themselves and understand what they truly want,” says Dr. Bernadette.

Scenario: Your child hits a playmate out of frustration. The other child bursts into tears. You freeze for a second.

What to do: Separate both kids. Attend to the child who got hurt with a quick apology and comfort. She shares these next steps, “As for your toddler, find out why they hit, then state in a calm yet firm voice that you acknowledge their feelings, but inflicting pain on others is not the answer and has consequences.”

Scenario: The meltdowns feel endless and nothing seems to work.

What to do: Use a time-out as a reset. Let your child sit or stand in a designated spot until you tell them they’re done. “A time-out can help them manage their feelings. It will also remind them to behave better unless they want to sit or stand in a corner again,” reassures the doctor.

And when parents lose their patience? “It’s only natural to raise your voice or lose your temper. You’re only human,” Dr. Bernadette continues. “Cut yourself some slack. Once you’ve calmed down, it’s important to model accountability and apologize to your child for your own behavior. Strive to do better next time, because there will be a next time.”