When does a gift—whether to a stranger or a friend—carry nothing but pure gratitude? And when does it begin to whisper an unspoken expectation of another favor to come?

In our culture, gift-giving is woven deeply into everyday life. It’s an instinctive way to show generosity and appreciation. From the smallest courtesies—offering a seat, remembering a preference, or going the extra mile for someone’s comfort—to the bigger gestures like helping with paperwork, pushing an application through, or caring for a sick friend, we often feel compelled to express thanks with a token, a pasalubong, or a special treat.

But this culture of generosity doesn’t stop at the personal level. It has seeped into business, politics, and other serious corners of life. The “token of appreciation” has evolved—from home-cooked food and fruit bas-kets to branded goods and luxury items. At some point, the lines blur: Is cash a token of gratitude? Does the timing matter—after the help, it’s a thank-you; before the help, is it still a gift or something else entirely?

These questions become more urgent in the light of the continuing call for citizens to help fight corruption. We often imagine corruption as large-scale fraud, rigged bids, or substandard public works. But it also exists in the quiet exchange of envelopes or “tokens” that bind one favor to another. A key question is whether the gift is simply an expression of thanks, or a subtle promise of more rewards if the favor is repeated. And another: is the value of the gift proportionate—or suspiciously beyond—the act being thanked?

Still, I would be sad to live in a world where gift-giving is automatically viewed as suspect. I love giving gifts simply to make someone feel remembered and special—not because they have done something for me. Often, these are small, thoughtful things I stumble upon: a book a friend once said they wanted to read, a jar of home-made jam, a locally made craft, a skincare item I know they’ll enjoy. These are gifts with no strings attached, no implied “next time.”

The Christmas season, however, amplifies both sides of our gift-giving culture. It is a time when the small-est tokens of appreciation can be overshadowed by extravagant presents—where generosity risks becoming a performance, and where the unspoken message may not be “thank you,” but “expect more.”

One truth holds: every gift says something about the giver. Is it thoughtful? Practical? Or is it simply a dis-play of wealth?

Some companies have learned to navigate this well. One American firm limits gifts to no more than $25 in value. Others have turned their gift budgets into charitable donations, sending cards that say, “A tree has been planted in your name” or “Your gift this year is a scholarship for a child.” Some corporations give products they themselves make, using the season as a quiet brand reminder. Others actively seek local handicrafts, turning their shopping lists into lifelines for small entrepreneurs. And yes, there are those who choose lavish generosi-ty, ensuring their gift will be remembered for years.

Gift-giving is universal, though some cultures—like ours—practice it more intensely. The question is not whether the gesture itself is bad, but whether we, the givers, allow it to cross into territory that distorts rela-tionships and expectations.

In the end, the meaning of a gift rests in the hands—and the intent—of the giver.

Here are a few gift-giving do’s and don’ts on gift-giving:

Do:

• Give with no strings attached. The most meaningful gifts are given without expecting anything in return.

• Match the gift to the recipient’s taste, needs, or interests—it shows thoughtfulness.

• Consider timing; gifts given after a favor feel like gratitude, gifts given before may be misread.

• Support local makers and small businesses when possible—your gift can help more than one person.

• Keep it proportionate; a small kindness doesn’t require an extravagant gift.

Don’t:

•Don’t give something so valuable that it might pressure the recipient into future favors.

•Don’t use a gift as a disguised bribe—if the intent is to influence a decision, it’s no longer a gift.

•Don’t overcomplicate the gesture; sincerity matters more than the price tag.

•Don’t assume everyone can accept gifts—some workplaces and public offices have strict rules against it.

•Don’t forget that the way a gift is given can speak louder than the gift itself.