Preschool teacher and mom-of-three Gabby Roa-Limjoco knows the back-to-school jitters all too well—not just from the classroom, but from her own household. As co-founder of Playworks Early Childhood Centers and a family life and child development specialist, she’s spent years helping children and their parents ease into the school year with less fear and more confidence.

Back-to-school anxiety is more common than we think, and it can show up in different ways, depending on the child’s age. “For the younger ones, the obvious ones are refusing to get dressed, crying when it’s time to get ready, or tantrums at drop-off,” she explains.

“Sometimes they’re all set to leave, but then suddenly say they need to use the restroom or complain of a tummy ache. They could also suddenly feel unwell.”

While younger children might express anxiety through meltdowns or clinginess, older kids tend to show it in more subtle ways. “They might have trouble sleeping, sometimes with nightmares. You might notice sudden irritability, or they become unusually quiet or withdrawn.”

Changes in eating behavior are also common, whether it’s eating much less or suddenly craving comfort food. These shifts in behavior can be easy to miss, especially in preteens and teens. They may not say they’re anxious outright, but their body language and habits usually tell the story.

Children between the ages of five and 14 are especially vulnerable to back-to-school anxiety, particularly those going through transition years—starting Kindergarten, moving to a bigger school, or entering junior high. “There’s also a shift from a long summer break, where they had more free time and closeness with family, to suddenly having to manage a full-day school routine again,” says Gabby. It’s this combination of changes in environment, routine, or even developmental stage that often triggers anxious feelings in kids.

“Transitions are always hard,” she says. “A new school year also means a new grade level with new classmates, teachers, and expectations.” For many children, the thought of making new friends or figuring out how to get along with a different teacher can feel overwhelming. Even if they don’t say it out loud, they’re thinking about how they’ll fit in and whether they’ll be able to keep up.

From a developmental perspective, Gabby refers to the work of German-American child psychoanalyst Erik Erikson. According to his theory of psychosocial development, younger children between the ages of three and six are in the stage of learning initiative. “They’re just beginning to assert themselves, to try things on their own,” she explains. “But when they’re scolded, ignored, or left out, that confidence can quickly turn into guilt or hesitation.”

Meanwhile, children between six and 12 are entering a stage where they seek competence. They want to feel capable, successful, and accepted. “If they feel like they’re falling short academically, socially, or behaviorally, it can lead to anxiety. Some withdraw, others act out. Either way, the pressure to ‘get it right’ becomes overwhelming.”

Gabby’s advice is to start preparing at least two weeks before school begins. Consistency is key, and that means gradually adjusting sleep schedules, mealtimes, and screen time. She also encourages families to reintroduce social connection, “Arrange playdates with a classmate or batchmate. Having even just one familiar face on the first day can be comforting.”

“Let them take part in school preparations like covering books, labeling supplies, and picking out their notebooks, bags, or lunch boxes,” she cites examples. Giving them a say in the process makes them feel more in control. It helps them feel involved rather than just being told what to do.

Lastly, remember that children are perceptive. “Watch your words. If you’re anxious or overwhelmed, they will be too,” she reminds. Model calm, and talk about school as something to look forward to, not something to fear.

Being prepared, having a steady routine, and lots of reassurance, we can help our children start the new school year feeling ready, supported, and even a little excited.