When I was in eighth grade, I posted about an archery competition I was in. It received over 50 likes in under an hour. I felt amazing. People commented things like “Congrats!” and fire emojis—and I won’t lie, it felt good. I kept refreshing my screen to see the number grow. A week later, I took a more casual photo, posted it, and walked away. When I checked hours later, the count crawled to barely fifteen. I stared at the screen, chewing my lip: Was it the angle, my tired face, the outfit, or just the feed itself losing steam?

That was the first time I noticed how much I had started measuring my self-worth by hearts on a screen.

There’s science behind that feeling. Studies have shown that every time we get a like, comment, or new follower, our brains release dopamine—a feel-good chemical that gives us feelings of pleasure, motivation, and reward. It’s behind our feelings of happiness whenever we accomplish a task, eat a favorite snack, or spend time with friends and family.

But social media has hacked that system. Likes and notifications are designed to trigger dopamine hits, so we keep scrolling, posting, and checking. It’s addictive. For me, I noticed I’d check Instagram first thing in the morning—before I even said good morning to my parents. If I posted something, I’d check back every five minutes just to see the numbers change.

At some point, it wasn’t even about the post. It was about validation.

The thing is, we don’t post the real stuff online. I’ve cried over school stress, fought with friends, had breakouts, and felt anxious—but you’ll never see that on my feed. What do people see? Vacation selfies, perfect filters, new outfits, animals.

And when I scroll, I see the same from others. Everyone looks flawless, happy, and “on.” That’s when the comparison trap kicks in. Why don’t I look like that? Why wasn’t I invited to that party? Why am I not living that life?

But what I’ve come to learn—and am still learning—is that social media is a highlight reel, not real life. Everyone curates the best parts. It doesn’t mean they’re not also having bad days or insecurities. We just don’t post those.

I’ll admit it: I’ve deleted posts that didn’t “perform well.” I’ve changed captions five times trying to make something sound funnier or more aesthetic. I’ve even posted things I didn’t feel comfortable with, just because I knew it would get attention.

That’s when I realized I wasn’t posting for me anymore. I was posting for approval—for others to tell me I was funny, pretty, or cool. And that’s dangerous. Because when likes become your confidence booster, it means their absence becomes your trigger for self-doubt.

We usually relate addiction to substances, but various studies including the report from the National Institute of Health that the use of social media can also lead to addiction. Exposure to social media can affect our behavior, thus, when it starts to control your thoughts or emotions. Ask yourself. Do I feel anxious when my post doesn’t get attention? Do I compare my life to people online and feel worse? Do I only feel proud when other people say I should be?

If you answered yes—I’ve been there. And honestly, so have millions of teenagers across the globe.

A study in the Philippines found that 61 percent of teenagers felt worse about themselves after using social media. That’s not a “you” problem. It’s a system problem.

I’m not perfect, and I still use social media (probably too much). But I’ve started doing small things that help me take control instead of letting it control me:

Taking breaks—I try not to check social apps during meals or right before bed. Sometimes, I’ll log off for a full day just to reset.

Posting with purpose—Before I post, I ask myself: Am I doing this because it matters to me, or because I want likes? If it’s just for validation, I rethink it.

Unfollowing accounts that hurt my self-esteem—It’s not rude to unfollow someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. You have to protect your own peace.

Celebrating wins offline—When I get a good grade or have a fun day with friends, I don’t post it. Sometimes the memory is enough.

Talking about it—I’ve opened up to close friends about these struggles, and guess what? They feel it too. It helps to know I’m not alone—and neither are you.

Social media is a tool—it can connect us, inspire us, and give us a voice. But it can also mess with our minds if we’re not careful. What I’ve learned is this: You are more than your most-liked post. You are more than filtered selfies, clever captions, or follower counts.

You are a full, complex person with real thoughts, dreams, and feelings. Your value isn’t in the likes you collect—but in how you treat others, what you care about, and how true you are to yourself.

So the next time your thumb hovers over the “post” button, or your brain whispers that you’re not “enough,” remember this: You don’t need the internet’s approval to be worthy. You already are.

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