Let’s be real—loving someone who isn’t available, isn’t ready, or simply isn’t yours is one of the hardest emotional spaces to be in. It’s like holding a beautiful song in your chest but never getting to sing it out loud. Maybe it’s the right person, but the wrong time. You share the same wavelength, the same dreams, the same what-ifs but for reasons outside your control, life just won’t let your paths run parallel. It’s heartbreaking, yes. But it’s also incredibly human.

This kind of love feels cinematic, like something out of a slow-burn movie with no final act. It lives in unsent messages, stolen glances, silent prayers. It’s a love full of potential but without direction. And yet, as painful as it is, it often becomes the turning point for deep personal growth.

Because in loving someone who’s unavailable, we’re forced to ask: What do I need? What do I deserve? Can I love without losing myself? We confront our own limits, patience, capacity to hope, and eventually, to let go. Maybe the biggest lesson is this that not all great loves are meant to be kept. Some come only to shape us, teach us, prepare us for something more aligned, more complete.

Love, after all, is a paradox. It can be both beautifully simple and overwhelmingly complex, much like life itself. At its core, love is connection, kindness, and the desire to understand and be understood. That sounds simple enough. But the moment real life enters the picture—timing, circumstances, personal baggage, unspoken expectations—it becomes layered, unpredictable, even messy.

Sometimes love arrives silently, needing nothing more than presence and peace. Other times, it demands courage, sacrifice, and the constant work of choosing someone even when it’s not easy. It can uplift and steady you, but it can also challenge you to confront your fears, your insecurities, and your profound longings.

Love isn’t just about feelings. It’s about values. Beliefs. How someone makes you feel about yourself. It’s not about how much money they have, how influential they are, or how good they look in photos. It’s about whether you can grow with this person. Whether they bring you peace. Do they calm your storms or do they add to them?

A friend once told me how she fell hard for someone. They chose each other daily, stood by one another, and shared in the unglamorous parts of life. Now, he’s successful and she’s still right there beside him. Not because she stayed quiet or held herself back, but because they lifted each other up.

That’s what real love looks like. It’s not simply about emotions but building something together. Sometimes, love isn’t instant. Minsan, natututuhan din mahalin (love can be learned), especially when there’s mutual respect, shared growth, and a genuine partnership.

In the end, the strongest relationships are not perfect. It’s the one built on choosing each other, even through the ordinary days.

When you love someone truly and wisely and that love is based on respect and not just fantasy, that’s powerful. Everything else is a bonus.

To all my fellow women, never settle for love that asks you to shrink. I’ve said this so many times, and I’ll keep repeating it: Choose the kind that nurtures. Love should never feel like losing yourself. The right relationship won’t make you question your worth but remind you of it.

So if you’re loving someone who isn’t quite yours, pause and ask yourself, “Is this love helping me become more of who I am? Is it giving me peace? Is it worth holding on to—or is it time to let go so you can leave room for something that chooses you, completely?”

Love, in truth, isn’t choosing between “mahal ko” and “mahal ako.” The best kind is both. Mutual, equal, and grounded in growth.

Keep the faith. Your kind of love exists. But it begins with the love you give yourself.

This, coming from a heart that’s learning, always. There is Hope!