“Love one another as I have loved you” (John 13:34). With these words, Jesus commands us to love others the way He loves us—completely, unconditionally, and sacrificially.

But this command seems to clash with another familiar teaching that tells us to love others just as much as we love ourselves. We read in both the Old and New Testaments: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18; Mark 12:31). So, does Jesus really expect us to love others to the point of disregarding our own legitimate needs? Are we supposed to measure our self-worth and identity by the approval or happiness of the people we love? This brings to mind the Filipino saying: “Pag umibig ka, mag-iwan ka ng kaunti para sa sarili mo” (When you love, don’t forget to leave a little for yourself).

So, how do we balance Jesus’s radical command with the need to love ourselves? The key is in His words, “I give you a NEW commandment” (John 13:34). Jesus invites us to go beyond the way we typically love ourselves, which is often transactional, with conditions, and focused on self-interest. He invites us to love in a way that is fearless and selfless. This is the kind of love Paul describes in Philippians 2:5–8, where he says, “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus, who, though He was God... took the form of a servant and became obedient to death—even death on a cross.”

Jesus’s love is not about losing His identity. On the contrary, it is about fully expressing who He is. God is love, and it is the nature of love to give itself away. Jesus’s death on the cross was the ultimate revelation of that love. And when we love like Him, we do not lose ourselves. We become our truest, fullest selves—vessels of love, channels of grace, and instruments of healing in a broken world.

Some might ask, if you love this way, are you not opening the door to abuse or injustice? That question seems valid because many people confuse affection with abuse. As the Eurythmics sang in Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This):

In the Gospels, Jesus never stood for that kind of twisted love. His love was strong and tender, but always grounded in truth. He did not enable harmful behavior. He set up healthy boundaries to teach us that love should be balanced with respect. He loved His enemies, but He gave them opportunities to change for the better. His love was a tough love, one that said, “I care too much to let you keep hurting yourself or others.”

There have been extraordinary individuals in history who strove to love as Jesus did. They remind us that the love Jesus taught is not an abstract ideal but a practical, revolutionary force. Indeed, nothing is more revolutionary than a love that heals wounds, breaks chains, and builds bridges. This is what we are called to embody, even in small, everyday acts of kindness.

Loving as Jesus loved might seem impossible—but only if we try to do it on our own. The truth is, God never commands the impossible. What He calls us to, He equips us for. Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would give us the power to love as He did (Acts 1:8). So the question is not: “Can we love like Jesus?” but “Will we?”

Jesus’s command is clear. The Spirit is ready. The time is now. Love as Jesus loved.