IT'S THE SMALL THINGS

Last week, I wrote about the start of an era simply because we are so used to celebrating the end, we often overlook that every ending has a beginning. In the same manner, we must not forget the fact that for a period of time to be memorable, we must live it – to the fullest – by feeling every emotion, seizing every day, and making the most out of every moment.

I have just begun my motherhood era, yet, I now know what they mean by your children become your greatest teachers. I am not only starting to realize a lot of new things about myself, I am meeting a version of myself I had previously never known. Your priorities do not only shift, they change. All of a sudden, your world is clad with cuddles, lullabies and a smile is worth a million bucks, yet in the same light, you never run out of anxieties or things to worry about. A sense of great responsibility cloaks you – the kind you have never known – because rightfully so, you are now responsible for a whole other life; a whole other human being.

If I were asked to describe what this era has been like, I would say that life thus far has been both a whirlwind and a lullaby. Some of the days (especially at the very start) are slow, but boy, have the months flown by. It has been a roller coaster of sorts where each day can be a mix of both calm and chaos, yet, each day, filled with tiny miracles and milestones. Our home now feels even more complete – a piece I never knew was missing came to fill it, and its coziness has become my sanctuary. My world has grown immeasurably overcome by a love that I never knew was possible.

My arms, once upon a time, sporting a new bag everyday to stay on trend, carrying shopping bags, or rolling a carry on luggage on a next trip, now finds perfection in the cradle of my baby. He has become my happiness so quickly. My mind, once clouded by judgment, looming deadlines, and focused on how I can next make a difference now revolves around feedings, pediatrician appointments and creating playlist with soothing lullabies. My shopping lists which have evolved from updating my wardrobe as a single girl, to grocery lists as a married woman now has diapers, baby oil, milk, wipes, and other baby essentials at the top most slot.

The highlight of this era thus far has been marked by moments of pure bliss brought about by a single smile, or the way he holds my hand. In as much as I crave me time, my heart does long for his desire to be carried by me. His strength to overcome, his resilience and sheer determination gives me a renewed sense of gratitude and hope every single day. The lows were lows, but the highs have also been highs that I never have looked back longing to who I was before. The miracles, and the gratefulness has taught me to embrace the life I now live.

In as much as I am now more vulnerable than ever, I too have discovered a strength – physically, mentally and emotionally – about me that I never imagined, nor thought was possible. It carries me through the toughest of days, and is a strength born from pure love – the kind that pushes me beyond my thresholds, and that has revealed a beauty otherwise unknown in the midst of struggle. And before the days blend seamlessly into the next stage, or dare I say era of motherhood, I will revel in it for as long as I can because it will bring nothing but deeper love, countless opportunities, endless possibilities and lifelong lessons that will transform me to the person I am meant to become.