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Manila Bulletin devider Opinion devider Start the year with kindness and respect

Start the year with kindness and respect

THERE IS HOPE!

Published Jan 6, 2024 10:47 pm

GUEST COLUMNIST

GODDES HOPE.jpg

By GODDES HOPE O. LIBIRAN

 

The fond memories of the past week's celebrations are still lingering in our minds though the New Year rush has also taken over. There were many moments with family and friends that i cherished though there were also those that, well, just made me smile when they flash in my head again. 


To be honest, and my friends know this, I'm a social introvert. I do enjoy engaging with other people especially in my job where traveling to far-flung areas and meeting all kinds of people—from national and local leaders to members of vulnerable communities—goes with the work. I mean, I enjoy making deep connections especially when I get to learn more about the person and discover her (or his) inspiring story.

 
On the other hand, I also enjoy moments of solitude and if given a choice, I would rather stay in a quiet place on my own to reflect, read a book, or enjoy the surroundings rather than participate in a big gathering where you're obliged to interact with others. I guess I can attribute that to my upbringing as a nerd. As a young student—even through college—my daily routine was as exciting us going to school and returning home, then going back to school the next day. 


So, when it comes to big get-togethers, small talk was never a skill. I actually admire people who are quick in dropping lines the minute they meet a person. And I'm still not used to people who say the most inappropriate things as if they have all the right to do so. In the case of reunions, I've had my share of classic rude lines such as, "Hey, you look fat" or "looks like you've been spending too much time in the kitchen, ha." My single women friends also complain about their share of "greetings" like, "What? You're still unmarried?" or for those who are married, "So, when are you planning to have kids?"


Yet, in situations like that, I just remember things that I learned when I was young, "If you can't say anything nice, just keep your lips sealed and smile." 


Online, we're told to think before we click. I think the same is true especially when dealing with people in real time. In fact, respect and kindness are inherent in our culture that's why we have words like "opo" or "po" and we also have gentle gestures such as kissing our elder's hands as a sign of respect. Yet, there are those who may need to be reminded that they've crossed the line and have hurt another person with an insensitive remark.


Among my favorite places to visit is Japan. I've always enjoyed its natural surroundings, vibrant culure, well-preserved heritage, and the food, of course. I'm also in awe of the politeness of its people and the practice of bowing before each other as an act of respect and acknowledgment of each other's presence. I learned that "ojigi" or bowing is taught at an early age.     


In the Philippines, in my travels, I've also seen a warm Filipino gesture where the hand is placed on the chest as a heartfelt greeting, for saying "salamat" or thank you, or for saying goodbye. Now, I'm not sure how that originated but surely, whenever I see a Filipino doing that, it feels good to receive such a gentle and positive intention. 


The year 2024 started with a lot of things to hope for and goals to look forward to. So much to be grateful for from the year that was and as life has always taught us, get rid of the bad and just take in the good. And among the priceless things that we should continue to keep close to our hearts is respect and kindness. Complex as it may be, respect and kindness are basic in our well-being. If we only had these two timeless virtues, then we can understand each other better and we'll be more united and compassionate as a community or nation.  


My wish for everyone is to have a kind New Year, one where there'll be more care, compassion, and respect for ourselves and for each other. And let me leave you for now with a quote from inspirational book author Roy T. Bennett— “Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely."


May 2024 be our best year yet!

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