IT'S THE SMALL THINGS

Last Sunday, Sept. 24 was National Daughter’s Day. To be brutally honest, I had no idea such day existed until this year. All thanks to social media, and the awareness it brings to such celebrations. As a daughter, it got me thinking about what exactly the day meant. More than just another occasion to celebrate women once again, I see it as a day that recognizes the role of children in the lives of their parents.

I have been, and will always be a staunch believer that the kind of daughter one becomes is a direct reflection on the parenting that she received. Thus, the kind of mother then that a daughter eventually becomes is also heavily influenced by her mother. Growing up, there may have been a lot of things we did not always agree with or see eye to eye with, but ultimately, I have come to realize that unconsciously, and when we expect it the least, we turn into our mothers – most especially during stressful situations, and in moments that push us back to our very core. Quite naturally after all, our second nature instincts are shaped by how we were nurtured, and it is perhaps what we will always seem to find comfort in.

Each daughter I believe has a different and very distinct relationship with her mother – even among sisters that is. After all, each one of us are our own unique individual selves. It is within these relationships I firmly believe that our very core and values are formed. In the same way perhaps, our phobias, traumas and anxieties as well. As daughters who will one day become mothers, we must also find it within ourselves to know and be aware what it is about our distinctive relationships that we would want to change when our time to mother comes, and make the conscious effort to make sure we practice these. Otherwise, we return to second nature, which in turn becomes to emulating our models.

Like mothering (all the basics like abusive relationships aside) there is no right or wrong way to be a daughter. Oftentimes, mothers reap what they sow in raising their daughters, and perhaps that is why frustrations can sometimes arise in the seldom times children may misbehave, or do something that displeases their mothers. It is after all when they see before their very eyes the product of their nurturing. The saying “mothers know best” used to annoy me, but as I grow older, I hate to admit that truer words have never been said. I am lucky and blessed to have the best one in my books, and as a daughter, I can only wish to be half the mother she has been to me, and that she continues to be to my future children.