MEDIUM RARE

Needed: Four typhoons with enough rain to pull up the normal water level of Angat dam. Wanted: A typhoon without floods stopping traffic in the cities, drowning crops in the farms, forcing the evacuation of families (into a situation that’s no longer so much a necessity as a seasonal ritual). We call ourselves “resilient” for the ability to roll with the punches whether the weather (as a metaphor) is sunny or rainy, rainy and sunny. Extreme climate? Climate change? We could change the climate with our smiles, our songs, our jokes. Resilient or tough? We smile and laugh at ourselves as we navigate the floods, children frolic in dirty brown water that’s almost as deep as a swimming pool, rescuers stand by and sigh, unable to understand where’s the fun. Indeed, where’s the fun? Well-paved streets are suddenly full of potholes. Commuters used to standing for hours waiting for a ride are traumatized by forecasts of rain even in “moderate” intensity. If rain is the only predictable source of water, when should we start to panic? Ask PAGASA, or ignore the next forecast? The fun is in not thinking about the consequences! Just for fun, I conducted a mini-survey and asked a small group of friends, “Who wastes the most water in your household?” To be honest, I was expecting them to blame the househelp. The first one to answer said, “My husband, he’s the culprit!” As soon as she said that, the other ladies chimed in, “Yes, that’s right!” and “I was going to say the same thing!” The next survey should be directed at the alleged culprits. In the meantime, may I ask for understanding on their behalf. Men consider the water bill too small to bother with, unlike the electric bill (they cannot live or breathe without airconditioning through the day and into night). Somewhere they have never traveled the path of having their beloved cars (like a demanding mistress) cleaned unless it’s with a water hose; or taking a shower three times a day if need be; or enjoying a shampoo in less time than it takes their long-haired daughters. I can imagine a loving spouse declaring, “Don’t you know, we do it for you, being clean, smelling good?”