CAGAYAN DE ORO CITY – Peace is expected to reign between two warring families in Lanao del Sur after two members – 26-year-old Jalal Norol Balindong Pacalna and 19-year-old Ressanya Hessa Dipatuan-Ducol – were married on July 8 at Xavier Estates Sports and Country Club here.
JALAL kisses Anya during their wedding at Xavier Estates Sports and Country Club in Cagayan de Oro City on July 8. (Bonita L. Ermac)
The two families had been in conflict for more than 50 years and had settled their long-standing differences thrice and made the inter-marriage to ensure lasting peace among them.
Former Bacolod Kalawi Mayor Diarangan Dipatuan said their disputes started in 1964 due to politics at the time of his father and the then Mayor Pacalna of Tugaya.
Dipatuan said the severe killings started in 1971 when his father was killed in Manila. He said both sides had sustained more than 50 casualties since then.
He said even after the settlement, there was still conflict, especially during elections.
"Sa amin talaga sincere kami, kaya lang ang nangyari, hindi mo mako-control mga tauhan mo sa election (We are sincere on our part but you cannot control your men during elections)," Dipatuan said.
After several years of negotiations, both parties agreed that inter-marriage would be the ultimate solution to their “rido” or clan war.
"Sa amin na mga Maranaos, ito na lang ang paraan na ma-settle talaga na wala ng babalikan...itong wedding na ito, inter-marriage ba (Inter-marriage is the ultimate solution to our clan war, there is no turning back)," said Dipatuan, adding that many clan wars have ended with inter-marriage.
Nordjiana Dipatuan-Ducol, the mother of the bride, said that Jalal courted her daughter following positive negotiations between their parents with elders and Lanao del Sur Gov. Mamintal "Bombit" Alonto Adiong Jr.
"Nung nagka-intindihan iyong both family, doon may process na, nanligaw na iyong guy sa kanya, hindi biglaan. So, pinaligaw namin iyong guy, so since na-process na din iyong anak ko, maganda iyong adhikain, mabait iyong lalaki, OK naman (The courtship started when our families settled down. We allowed Norol to court Nessanya and they fell in love with each other. He is sincere and has noble intentions. He is OK)," said Nordjiana in an interview.
Nordjiana said they had no qualms about this “whirlwind romance.”
"Actually, comfortable naman kasi iyong religion namin, iyong culture namin parang sanay na (We are comfortable because our religion and culture are used to it),” she added.
The historic wedding was held less than two months after courtship and Jaral asked Nessanya’s hand in marriage.
Nordjiana is grateful to Allah that peace has been achieved after years of rido. "Wala tayong makukuha sa lahat ng pride, politics, let there be peace in all our hearts talaga (We won’t get anything good when pride and politics rule. Let there be peace in our hearts).”
THE newly-weds pose with their parents and relatives. (Bonita L. Ermac)
Police Col. Rex Derilo, former Lanao del Sur police chief, said the peace and order in the province will improve following the full reconciliation of the two warring clans.
Derilo said it takes a lot of negotiations and discussions to settle a conflict.
"Ngayon, considering they are big families, maraming friends, relatives, malaking solusyon iyon sa amin, laking pabor maibsan problema namin sa Lanao del Sur (Their reconciliation will improve peace and order in Lanao del Sur)," Derilo said. "You have to think of the future of your family, your descendants. "So kailangan they should be following the efforts of the two parties, how they reach this settlement, how they reach this good relationship now."