By Peach Aragon
The first time we celebrated Mother’s Day, our daughter was three years old and I was 41. It was such an emotional day for me because, truth be told, I never really thought I’d ever get to celebrate being a mother.
I am an adoptive mom to Angel (not her real name), now seven. She joined us in 2018 and made us into a family of three. Years before we applied for adoption, my husband and I went through multiple failed artificial inseminations (AI). The roller coaster of emotions, financial stress, societal expectations while going through it, was quite challenging. Every cycle, we had to prepare ourselves for either success or failure. After trying so many times, our doctor suggested we try IVF (Invitro Fertilization) because statistically, the chances of getting pregnant are higher compared to AI. Even though I was scared, having gone through many failed attempts, my husband and I went through it, only because we really wanted to have a child. But when the IVF failed, I gave up. Having to go through another one is like setting yourself up for another broken heart.
Still hoping to become a mom someday, I looked at other options, which was adoption. After reading many articles about it, I finally shared this desire with my husband. Thankfully he supported this, as he also wanted to be a dad himself. Having the same goals, it was an easy decision to adopt. A friend introduced us to a lawyer who knew someone from DSWD. We started processing our application and that was how our journey as adoptive parents started.
The first time we met Angel, she was this frail-looking little girl in a red dress, with a wobbly walk and sad little eyes. It was love at first sight. It was the kind of love that grew over time too. When we took her home, she couldn’t go to sleep because she was in a new environment. As a first-time mom, not really sure what to do myself, I just followed my instincts. I knew she wanted to feel safe, so I remember holding her close to my chest while singing A Thousand Years by Christina Perri as I lay her down in bed. It was a beautiful memory because it didn’t take long for her to fall asleep comfortably in my arms. That same night, I cried, thanking God for giving me the opportunity to become her mom.
She is turning eight this year and as she’s growing with us, I can see a part of me and a part of my husband in her. The way she talks, her taste in clothes, the way she thinks and laughs, it’s all me. Her humor and temperament, it’s all her dad. She has this quirkiness and lambing (being affectionate) that’s all her and together we meld into this family we now call our own. With her in our life, I no longer feel the longing of getting pregnant anymore, or feel secretly jealous when friends get pregnant. The pang of pain whenever I hold a baby in my arms, it’s totally gone! Angel changed all that for me.
Though the adoption process is still ongoing—which is why we’re using fake names, including mine—we feel so blessed to have had the determination to go through it. Angel’s been such a blessing to us! Sometimes, I’d forget she didn’t come from me. It’s true what they say, love can be learned. When you choose to love and commit to giving your heart to someone, it will happen. Next thing you know, your heart’s so full of love you are bursting with it.
As an adoptive parent, I hope to equip Angel with self-confidence by empowering her with our beautiful journey as a family so no one in the future could ever hurt her with it. Though we know of many families who share the same heartwarming story, sadly, adoption is still a taboo for some. I trust though that as the world is changing, our views will change too. One day, we hope to have a future, where people will be more accepting and open to giving children their hearts and their homes, just like we did.
One day, I also hope that our Department of Education adjust our curriculum and no longer push the idea of what a “family” is to little learners. I hope they no longer require children to draw a family tree, or have them bring a photo of their moms pregnant with them in their tummy, a photo of them when they were born, photos of them at every age.
There are, after all, blended families, single parents, and families like ours. Our Department of Education should learn to adapt to ensure that kids as early as first grade understand that not all families are the same, and that modern families may come in different forms. It will teach our children that being different—and coming from a different setup—is okay. But that’s for another day. Today, I get to celebrate and be celebrated as a mom.