“When you become a mom, it’s not about you anymore.” says Eileen Gonzales, a single mom who is competing for the opportunity to represent the country in the Miss Universe Philippines 2023 pageant.
Truly, this statement can resonate with many moms who have had to put their life and dreams on hold to prioritize the well-being of their child. And Eileen’s story is a testament that not all is lost after motherhood.
Eileen celebrates pageant milestone for being selected as Hello Glow Top 5 Finalist with son, Zohan.
Struggles of a single mom
Eileen is the only girl among her four brothers. She grew up not knowing who her real dad was. When she gave birth to her son Zohan in 2017, she acknowledged her mother’s pivotal role in guiding her to make the right decisions for her child. She quotes her mom telling her, “Huwag na huwag kang gagawa ng mali”, when then expectant 21-year old Eileen was afraid and scared for her future.
She was a commercial model and a Star Magic artist before getting pregnant, with ambitious dreams of becoming Miss Universe. Instead, she found herself as a young single mother, scrambling to make ends meet as the breadwinner of her household. She pursued different kinds of businesses, from reselling various products to founding her own personal care brand, just so she could provide for her child.
For Eileen, the hardest thing about being a single mom is having “ to put on a mask every day, [in order to] be strong for my son and my siblings.” Amid it all, she is still thankful to have a healthy co-parenting relationship with the father of her child, as well as access to her mom anytime because of social media, despite the distance, as her mother lives in the US.
Eileen proudly represents Quezon City in Miss Universe Philippines 2023.
Pageant experience
Pageantry is not new to Eileen, who competed internationally for the Miss Face of Beauty International Pageant in 2015. After becoming a mom, Eileen tried her luck again in Miss Global Philippines 2018 and emerged as the winner. As an organization that advocates for women empowerment, therefore allowing single and unmarried mothers to participate, the opportunity revived Eileen’s hopes of fulfilling her Miss Universe dreams.
The year after, Miss Universe 2019 allowed the first openly transgender woman to become a candidate in the prestigious pageant. This prompted Eileen to write an e-mail to the New York-based pageant organization, optimistic that someday, Miss Universe may also consider single mothers like herself to take part.
Fast forward September 2022, the Miss Universe Organization announced changes to its rules, now permitting all women, regardless of marital status, to join—for as long as they fell within the age range of 18 to 27 beginning 2023. Conveniently, Eileen turned 27 in April of this year, as though the universe had ordained it for her.
Eileen with her mother.
Putting in the work
The day after the pageant’s memo was released, Eileen says she immediately coordinated with her camp, Kagandahang Flores, to start training her pasarela (runway walk) and communication skills. And it seems her hard work is paying off as Eileen quickly became one of the contenders to watch out for.
As early as the Miss Universe Philippines 2023 screening, Eileen sparked conversation online for breaking barriers as the first single mother to apply for the national pageant as this year’s Miss Quezon City. She was also awarded as one of Hello Glow’s top five finalists at the brand’s sunset runway event last March 31, 2023.
The single mother shares how everything still feels so surreal. “It is so hard to articulate in words the immense gratitude of being able to bring to life my manifestation [to become a candidate in Miss Universe Philippines].” Thus, the additional recognition of being selected as a Hello Glow finalist is simply an icing on top.
Eileen with son Zohan.
Her message of inspiration
Eileen’s advocacy coming into Miss Universe Philippines has always been straightforward—to empower solo parents and inspire them to follow their dreams. “Dreams are powerful,” says Eileen. “Sometimes it is hard to hold on. But remember that good things happen to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” And that’s the core message she wants fellow single moms to take away from her pageant journey.
“I am in Miss Universe Philippines, not just for myself but also for all the solo parents who may have given up on their dreams.” Whenever she feels weak and overwhelmed, she reminds herself and other single moms to remember that “May batang tumitingin sa iyo, kapag humihina ang loob mo (there’s a child watching you, especially when you get discouraged).”
Her son, Zohan, who she lovingly calls “Z, ”remain her number one inspiration. Throughout her journey as a mother, she has learned that her child is not a setback. On the contrary, Eileen asserts that “Z is my biggest motivation to become more ambitious and work smarter.”
Hence, she hopes that her presence in the Miss Universe Philippines’ national pageant encourages fellow single mothers to keep fighting for their dreams. Motherhood should not prevent them from pursuing their aspirations. Alternatively, it should be what pushes them to chase their dreams and unleash their fullest potential.
“No matter what happens, simply being here is already a win,” says Eileen.
Her final words of inspiration to her supporters and fellow single moms is a quote from Miss Universe 2022 - R’Bonney Gabriel, “If not now, then when?”
Eileen’s story is evidence that your dreams can still come true after motherhood. And if you are a mother reading this, this may just be your sign to go for it!