ONE FOR THE ROAD

Last month, the House of Representatives committee unanimously approved a bill reinstating absolute divorce, which has ruffled the usual feathers and revived an age old debate that has gone way past its shelf life. Now before I weigh in on this, let me just say that if you are still on the fence about this issue, it might help to know that there are only two countries left on planet earth that still forbid divorce. One is the Philippines, the other one is the Vatican. Let that simmer for a minute. So what is the issue? Why such resistance to something that even the strictest and most authoritarian regimes around the world allow? Let’s break it down, shall we? The main argument from the detractors of this bill revolves around protecting the sanctuary or sacrament of marriage and keeping families together, which is a very noble cause indeed. They fear that creating an option to end a bad marriage will send the wrong message and only result in more marriages dissolving, creating more instability for families. So it is their duty to prevent the moral decay of society by defending this sacred institution. Now don’t get me wrong, just because I disagree, I still think the intention here is very good. I wasn’t being sarcastic when I said that I find it very noble. But you know what they say about the road to hell, right? It is paved with good intentions. And let’s face it, a bad marriage with no option to leave is the very definition of hell; a private one where nobody can hear your screams. Especially our lawmakers. Because as difficult as this may be for the opposers to grasp, legalizing divorce does not encourage any healthy marriage to file for one — in the same way that legalizing gay marriage would not make heterosexuals suddenly want to marry a gay person simply because it’s legal. It only provides an option for those without one. And the idea of using morality as justification for denying abused spouses that option is the epitome of arrogance, hypocrisy and hubris. Or as Albay Representative Edcel Lagman put it: “Divorce is not the worst thing that can happen to a family. Enduring years of physical violence, suffering emotional abuse, tolerating infidelity, allowing children to live in a hostile home and witness daily discord and constant conflict – these are far worse than divorce.”