In diplomatic life, change is a constant companion. 
The challenges of moving extend beyond the logistics of packing and unpacking. As I navigate this season of transition alongside fellow diplomatic spouses, the echoes of shared experiences resonate deeply. It’s a time marked by both anticipation and upheaval, where the familiar comforts of home become transient, replaced by the prospect of new beginnings in a foreign land that can either go well or not. Amid the uncertainties, it’s in the wisdom of individuals like Marie-Louise Sauerberg, a psychotherapist who also finds herself in the same situation every few years. Her insights into finding meaning in the midst of change offer solace and perspective, reminding us that, even in the face of tumultuous relocations, the journey holds the potential for self-discovery and growth.
As the wife of a diplomat, Sauerberg is well-versed in guiding individuals and families through the challenges of international transitions. What struck me the most during a recent conversation was how she zeroes in on the key to a happy life: finding meaning. 
“It’s something that is very personal and it can also change through the years,” she said. “It’s very much a human experience to feel like your life is losing meaning at some point but the challenge is to find it once more.”
Reflecting on her own experiences, Sauerberg delves into the intricacies of personal growth and self-discovery. She emphasizes the importance of exploring one’s identity and aspirations, assisting others in unraveling the threads of their existence. For most trailing spouses, it is often a tough experience to leave a career and a way of life for love. While some moves offer a chance to work remotely or to pivot, the constant relocation can sometimes feel like an assurance that growth in a certain field will always remain elusive. As a partner’s career takes precedence over another’s, it can be easy to feel inferior or unimportant.

“When I look back, it always feels like things have worked out in the end,” another diplomat’s wife shared. “I found a job, a new set of friends, and a life that I enjoyed while I’m in Manila. But it doesn’t mean all of that just landed on my lap—I had to work twice as hard as I would have compared to if I had the stability of staying put in one place.” And just as things have settled and you find your footing, it’s time to leave again. “This does not mean I’m ungrateful for the opportunity to move and live in another country. It has its merits, of course. But let’s not pretend that trailing spouses have it easy all the time.”
To help overcome these feelings, Sauerberg emphasizes the significance of self-reflection and emotional awareness in our fast-paced lives. It also requires communicating with a partner for them to understand the difficulty and the sacrifices made. While acknowledging the difficulties of prioritizing self-awareness amid responsibilities and time constraints, Sauerberg provides valuable insights. Becoming attuned to emotions and thoughts, and intentionally seeking meaningful moments are pivotal steps in this journey.
While the worst of it is over, she says we are all still recovering from the after-effects of the pandemic. Its impact on human connections became a focal point of our conversation. Sauerberg shared that the evolving dynamics, where some find it challenging to form new connections while others embrace a newfound introversion do present new challenges. Amid these shifts, she advocates for finding meaning in everyday experiences, working harder to foster connections, and nurturing self-awareness.
Her approach also extends to planning for the future with flexibility, understanding that life is a continuous process of adjustment and adaptation. In the face of unpredictable detours and changing needs, she encourages individuals to prioritize desired outcomes and remain resilient in the face of unexpected events.
Our conversation explores the delicate balance of finding meaning and purpose, particularly in the midst of challenges and unfulfilled desires. Sauerberg, who had a career in the medical field in Europe before joining her husband at postings, candidly shared her experiences and thoughts on acceptance, grief, and rediscovering purpose. Central to her philosophy is taking responsibility for one’s life, reframing wellbeing, and forging a new path forward after loss (in any aspect of your life) or hardship.
In Sauerberg’s wisdom, I discovered not just a psychotherapist but a compassionate guide. A comforting presence as I prepare to embark on another relocation. Today, I’ll be on a plane to Tokyo to follow my husband on yet another move. The conflicting emotions of leaving just as I’ve rebuilt my career weigh on me. Starting anew is never simple, demanding significant investments of time, effort, and emotions for something transient. In the broader perspective, these feelings may seem trivial, considering the challenges others face. Climate change, war, and women my age lose everything in an instant, making it feel almost inappropriate to express such sentiments. Yet, these are genuine struggles for many, particularly women, in this recurring cycle. 
We chose this life so this isn’t a complaint but more of a plea for understanding that it’s not as easy as it seems. It takes a lot to navigate life’s complexities with grace, resilience, and a commitment to finding meaning in every step of the journey. And just in case you need the same handholding I needed, you can get in touch with Marie-Louise at www.sauerbergtherapy.com