MARRY ME: Creating the RomCom-SciFi hybrid

Absolute suspension of disbelief is asked of you as you watch Marry Me; because I really don’t know what distant planet our two main characters come from. Maybe in Krypton, or in Asgard, fans who put up Marry Me signs at concerts and sports events are taken seriously and marry their idols, but it certainly doesn’t happen on Earth. But in this film, we’re asked to believe that a major Pop diva, out of frustration, would marry some random man holding up such a sign - not just a date, but actually marry him. Plus, that a mature, responsible divorced father, who was just holding the sign for a friend, would rationally decide to say ‘I do’.

Kat Valdez (Jennifer Lopez), and Bastian (the Colombian pop singer Maluma), are a real life couple, and two of the biggest current pop stars. In a New York Radio City concert, they’ll perform their new smash single Marry Me, and actually get married on stage. A recently divorced Math teacher at a local school, Charlie (Owen Wilson), has accompanied his co-teacher and close friend (played by Sarah Silverman) with his daughter in tow, to the concert. This is against his better judgment as he’s not familiar with Kat’s music at all, and this is just to prove to his daughter he can be cool and fun.

Of course, right before they take their vows, videos of Bastian cheating on Kat surface, and in a fit of desperation and not put to waste the presence of the minister, she zeroes in on Charlie in the audience, holding the Marry Me sign, and says she will. See what I mean? It’s a premise that’s made from sci-fi territory, as most of us would think just send the minister away, or let him perform the last rites on Bastian, if we were Kat. And if we were Charlie, we’d say No way, José, right?

But if you suspend disbelief, you’ll find this charming and entertaining enough. Just don’t expect pithy love discourse or layered relationships. This goes as predictable and as paint-by-numbers, as any calibrated crowd pleaser will go - and of course, it’s a Valentine’s Day release, so don’t expect anything but the realization that the two were actually meant for each other.

In her most challenging role yet, J Lo plays a singer/global pop star, so that gives you enough of a forewarning on whether this will earn her an acting award. Owen is put into an acting straitjacket here, as they’ve made him bland and ordinary for this opposites attract scenario (watch Paul Rudd as a science teacher in the upcoming Ghostbusters: Afterlife, and see what possibilities weren’t afforded Owen). So for much of the movie, it’s like the two are acting in different films, with no real chemistry to speak of, while we’re asked to believe they’ll fall in love.

As it’s a Rom-Com, we’re supposed to have Comedy, but we know Jennifer won’t provide that, and Owen has been put on a leash; so it’s pretty much left to Sarah Silverman to provide what laughs we can get from this too earnest of a film. There’s a soundtrack with a bunch of new songs, so maybe there’s hope from that, as some songs actually work.

Back in 2005, a couple of years after Maid in Manhattan, and the same year that The Wedding Crashers came out, this might have been an exciting pairing to anticipate in a film project. In this 2022, I’m actually wondering if this will even find an audience. It’s fun enough the moment you commit yourself to the ‘ride’; but it’s a rather inconsequential offering, even as a date movie. Pretty Woman was a fairy tale, this one is more Fantasy.