What is love?
Published Oct 22, 2022 12:05 am
IT'S THE SMALL THINGS
It seems rather strange for me to be writing about love in October – the farthest from Valentine’s, and the season of Halloween. But then again, as I was pondering over this, I realized that as universal as love is, it is something we must celebrate year-round, and constantly remind ourselves and reflect about. I recently had the opportunity to do so as I was conversing and consoling one of my best friends who is currently going through a rough path in his love life. Brought about by milestone moments and new chapter changes, he somewhat encouraged and inspired me to write about what it was telling him – as the type of friend who keeps it real, rather than fluffs it all up.
When we are asked “what is love?” The first thing that pops into my mind is 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs…” And while that verse ultimately encapsulates what love should be, what really is love to me in this perfectly imperfect world that we live in? It got me thinking. And in many words, this is what I told my bestie.
Love can be life’s greatest teacher if you allow it to be. Going through the pains that love is capable of bringing about, love in a romantic sense, and in any relationship actually reminds you of your thresholds and limits, yet, is powerful enough to blur boundaries, and push you to make exceptions. Love in this sense is a risk you take. It is a leap of faith that makes you willingly step out of your comfort zone. At the start, it is this rush of inexplicable happy hormones, pink hearts and all things uplifting, but being the most powerful emotion there is, true love is also capable of hurting you in the most crushing of ways. But looking back, you can always console yourself with the notion that when there is pain, you know there was love. True love at that.
In love there is no black and white or fixed formula. There is gray area more times than we want and need. Love humanizes you in that it exposes your most vulnerable self to you, and puts you in touch with your most raw and purest of emotions. It makes you feel things you probably have never felt, and that you may never feel again, but keeps you uneasy and elevates your anxiety. Love is, and can be the absence of fear – foregoing all that you once were frightened of and scared about in the name of it. Love is not fixed, and there is no right and wrong way of loving someone (or something for that matter). But you certainly know when you are loved, and when there is love. And love, is what we need to tide us over on those tough days.
Love is perfectly imperfect because the love you give someone is a love so special only you are capable of giving. No one else will love in the exact same way that you do. But if love is but a “many splendored thing” why do relationships that are governed by love, and with so much love, then come to an end?
There are definitely a million and one reasons and answers to that question, but quite simply put, I think it is the mere fact that some people just are not meant to be in your life forever. It will not change their existence on this earth, nor will their place in your heart ever be filled or replaced. It will not change who they were to you, but who they may become, and/or whether or not they will still have a presence in your life are some factors that will be determined only by time.
So may love find you – the long and lasting kind. And if it turns out to be a lesson to you instead, may you choose to see the goodness it brought about, and that was born because of it. May it not turn you bitter, but instead, make you better. May it show you the meaningfulness you are searching for, and the purposefulness you have on this earth. Love wins! It always does.
It seems rather strange for me to be writing about love in October – the farthest from Valentine’s, and the season of Halloween. But then again, as I was pondering over this, I realized that as universal as love is, it is something we must celebrate year-round, and constantly remind ourselves and reflect about. I recently had the opportunity to do so as I was conversing and consoling one of my best friends who is currently going through a rough path in his love life. Brought about by milestone moments and new chapter changes, he somewhat encouraged and inspired me to write about what it was telling him – as the type of friend who keeps it real, rather than fluffs it all up.
When we are asked “what is love?” The first thing that pops into my mind is 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs…” And while that verse ultimately encapsulates what love should be, what really is love to me in this perfectly imperfect world that we live in? It got me thinking. And in many words, this is what I told my bestie.
Love can be life’s greatest teacher if you allow it to be. Going through the pains that love is capable of bringing about, love in a romantic sense, and in any relationship actually reminds you of your thresholds and limits, yet, is powerful enough to blur boundaries, and push you to make exceptions. Love in this sense is a risk you take. It is a leap of faith that makes you willingly step out of your comfort zone. At the start, it is this rush of inexplicable happy hormones, pink hearts and all things uplifting, but being the most powerful emotion there is, true love is also capable of hurting you in the most crushing of ways. But looking back, you can always console yourself with the notion that when there is pain, you know there was love. True love at that.
In love there is no black and white or fixed formula. There is gray area more times than we want and need. Love humanizes you in that it exposes your most vulnerable self to you, and puts you in touch with your most raw and purest of emotions. It makes you feel things you probably have never felt, and that you may never feel again, but keeps you uneasy and elevates your anxiety. Love is, and can be the absence of fear – foregoing all that you once were frightened of and scared about in the name of it. Love is not fixed, and there is no right and wrong way of loving someone (or something for that matter). But you certainly know when you are loved, and when there is love. And love, is what we need to tide us over on those tough days.
Love is perfectly imperfect because the love you give someone is a love so special only you are capable of giving. No one else will love in the exact same way that you do. But if love is but a “many splendored thing” why do relationships that are governed by love, and with so much love, then come to an end?
There are definitely a million and one reasons and answers to that question, but quite simply put, I think it is the mere fact that some people just are not meant to be in your life forever. It will not change their existence on this earth, nor will their place in your heart ever be filled or replaced. It will not change who they were to you, but who they may become, and/or whether or not they will still have a presence in your life are some factors that will be determined only by time.
So may love find you – the long and lasting kind. And if it turns out to be a lesson to you instead, may you choose to see the goodness it brought about, and that was born because of it. May it not turn you bitter, but instead, make you better. May it show you the meaningfulness you are searching for, and the purposefulness you have on this earth. Love wins! It always does.