"It was not an easy ride the past four weeks. I could not tell anyone, too, except for the closest people in my life. But God has comforted, provided, loved me throughout and He has never failed in all the times this has happened to me!"
This is what former sexy actress-singer Rica Peralejo wrote on the description box of her recent vlog titled "I Was Positive," detailing her recent miscarriage, her third.
In there, she started: "Hi everyone! Welcome to the vlog and today I am going to have a very different kind of vlog because I am going to announce something. Okay, the announcement is I was positive. Positive not for COVID, thankfully. And the other good news is that I was positive for pregnancy. Yehey. Happy. Good news. But the bad news there is 'I was positive.' That means I no longer am."
According to her, she decided to share it to help ease the pain of those who could relate.
"Meron siyang effect na parang pagka nakikinig din ako ng kwento ng iba, it makes me feel a little less alone. I know it's sad. I know that there is grief in our pain but when we hear others share their stories, di ba parang kahit papaano natutulungan ka na 'Ay hindi naman pala ako mag isa.'"
Rica revealed that she found out about her pregnancy a few days before Father's day.
At first, she and her husband Joseph Bonifacio, were "very guarded" because they already had two miscarriages prior.
And sadly, during her third ultrasound, she found out it's "not gonna develop anymore."
"And at the same time, I started to just bleed and bleed a lot, so I knew the pregnancy has ended."
She then recalled her first pregnancy.
"Had no problem, whatsoever, it was problem-free pregnancy and even delivery was okay. And I was so happy with our firstborn that all I could think about was to have another baby," Rica related.
"So I just had to wait for my sugat to heal. Kasi nga na CS ako. And then when I felt like it was good to try again, we did. And upon the second try, we were able to conceive naman after a few months. And this was my first experience of miscarriage," she added.
It's actually called "missed abortion," explaining that when she went to her OB, the latter was trying to find the heartbeat of the baby and the doctor didn't pick it up.
"Nagulat ako na parang patay na yung baby sa loob," she admitted.
Rica revealed the incident actually made her depressed.
And for almost a year.
"Tapos yung depression ko na-escalate siya into fear. Na feeling ko may mamatay ganon. And so it would really took a while to actually try for another baby. And so when I got over that first stage. I tried for another baby and the same thing happened," she said, relating to her second miscarriage.
It made her "angry."
"Feeling ko ang unfair. 'Lord, bakit mo hinayaan mangyari ito sa akin?' Kasi ang feeling ko ang daya-daya. Parang may tampo kay Lord," she related.
As for the third one, she described feeling a lot "calmer," "peaceful."
"Parang God has prepared my heart better this time."