COVID affected not just the physical but also the mental health of people. In the USA, 4 of 10 people had symptoms of anxiety and depression during this pandemic.
As a result, old diseases turned chronic due to stress, there were difficulties in sleeping (36%), eating (32%) and an increase in alcohol and substance use(12%).
A webinar in FINEX on "Happiness and Suffering" by a renowned Filipino doctor practicing in Auckland, New Zealand pointed some sources of human disappointments and that "mind training" is needed to address them. One could be a king or pauper but everyone strives to be happy by pursuing objects of one's desires or reducing pain.
The speaker Dr. Antonio Fernando is a psychiatrist, sleep specialist, a "happiness teacher" and also a former Buddhist monk.
Basic Buddhist teachings center on (4) Noble Truths. The existence of suffering (dukha), causes of suffering due to our attachments (Trishna), a path to happiness and the cessation of suffering (Nirvana).
At least one nation, Bhutan, had taken "joy of being" as more important than money when they do an annual GNH (Gross National Happiness) check rather than our traditional GDP (Gross Domestic Product). A few years back, a group of Bhutanese local officials asked me here to give a talk on "community journalism" to bring to their rural areas.
So, the Bhutanese may not be as progressive materially but they are certainly very happy people.
Dr. Fernando says man pursues several sources of happiness like food, money, shopping, status, power, sensual pleasures, and relationships. But man's pain and suffering are precisely caused by our attachment to these - when none of them lasts forever.
Food can only be enjoyed to a certain point (try eating steak every day); at certain income levels, new money no longer gives the optimum marginal return of joy; shopping is largely fueled by anticipation of having something new, not the actual purchase; status and power are temporary, sensual pleasures fleeting and relationships mostly change over the years.
Fairy tales do not exist in real life as the princess finds out the frog she kissed into a prince is not forever gallant, respectful and chivalrous throughout life. What is the key to joy then?
It is to train one's mind to accept the impermanence of things and people, be at peace with change and let go of circumstances as people and things- in fact, nothing in the physical world lasts forever.
But neither does it mean that one should take things and people for granted just because they are not eternal. On the contrary, it is their very "impermanence" that should make man cherish them more while they are still around.
Almost every unhappiness is caused by unmet expectations. It is, therefore, crucial for man to "manage one's expectations" - maybe even lower them- to avoid pain and hurts. Dr. Fernando speaks about always having a "Plan B" to survive unmet expectations and, thus, remain at an even keel emotionally.
He says on its own- man's brain largely overthinks, dwells on the negative, is emotional and irrational and reactive to changes. That is why the science of "Mindfulness" of being present to the "here and now" is being recommended by searchers of genuine joy. It is embodied in a series of books by Eckart Tolle (1997) which started with "The Power of Now-A Spiritual Reawakening."
The reason we hardly find joy in the moment is we seem to have "attention deficiency syndrome" because while doing things currently -our minds simultaneously race to the past that has already happened and a future we cannot fully control.
No need to be a perfectionist, too, because only God is and this acceptance is an act of self-compassion and allows us to accept others' deficiencies as we are all the same- pursuing happiness and sometimes in pain- and others are imperfect just like us.
Genuine happiness comes in one being truly compassionate in both words and deeds to others.
Barbara Streisand once sang: "Some good things never last". But anxiety, depression and even this pandemic itself these bad things, too, do not last forever, as well.
(Bingo Dejaresco, a former banker, is a financial consultant, media practitioner and book author. He is a Life and Media member of Finex. His views here, however, are personal and do not necessarily reflect those of [email protected]).