My nephew Alan describes me as the Aunt who was never there for birthdays, baptisms, and birthdays. I never found the time. Working with President Fidel V. Ramos took 24/7 and more. I used to go home at 1:00 P.M. after simulating the effects of tax reforms on revenues, prices, income distribution. And then I had to go back to the Palace for the never-ending LEDAC meetings at 6:00 A.M.  I was off to the Lower House for Committee meetings and run to the Senate for more harassment in the afternoon. The evenings were spent for more simulations on the 101 recommendations of both Houses. I never had the time to know who Brad Pitt was. I never understood the wild fascination for “Friends.” I even thought Larry Bird was another name for Big Bird.

Now, I am out of government but carry a heavier burden.   I have to worry about where the money to finance salaries and programs will come from. I have gotten used to measuring ROIs in numbers. But I have gotten wiser and rearranged my priorities by putting families and friends first. Yesterday, I just let our report to a donor go without rewriting it according to my style. I am slowly accepting that every person is different. I should learn not to expect anybody to think and write like me. Boy, what a queer world that would be!

I had planned to clean the house so my family would find the room spotless. But there was no time. Mayor Vico called for a School Board meeting in the morning. My nephew Angelo and his lovely family came earlier than expected. So, I told myself that there was no sense in being Obsessive-Compulsive. I bequeath that to Mayor Rex. The world would not stop if I did not dust the furniture and my room is not spic and span.

I used to be particular about immaculately clean floors, but I gave up that obsession too. My young grandnephews have no knowledge of the beauty of spotless furniture. There is always the big possibility that spaghetti will not land on their plates but on the cushion or a glass of juice would be spilled on the floor. I am learning not to ask who moved my cheese all the time. The lesson that I learned is not to sweat about the small stuff.

This is a time for great discoveries beyond the latest studies on public finance. I am awed in discovering that 5-year olds have a sense of self-identity and self-importance. My grandnephew Basti was so distraught not to find any of his photos in my house. To makeup, I showed him his picture on my phone. “But it is not real life,” he retorted. Indeed, there are very valuable things that we learn from kids. I am resolved to view things with great honesty and wonder from their eyes.  

I also felt the joy of being wanted. When I took the young ones to watch the fireworks display, Gavin clung to me and said, “He was scared.”  He reinforced the importance of seeing each person as different. What is a wonder to me can be a challenging experience for someone.

I am now putting my house in order. It is as if typhoon Odette passed us by. I was afraid that the first day of the New Year would find me cleaning and scrubbing. From tradition, I believed that how you spent the first day of the year would define how the rest of the year would be spent. But, there are always two sides to a coin. I now view cleaning as getting rid of the cobwebs of the past. I did the task with a light heart as I look forward to a New Year with bliss.

My today is so not me. None of my plans for the day was accomplished. But I am grateful that I have found a greater meaning in my life. Work is important. But work will not define me. Love for family, friends, and those who are less fortunate than I am will. I will live each day with new perspectives, new wonders, and new learning’s.

There is hope for workaholics.

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