By D. Posadas

Ricardo Cruz had always been an achiever. He was at the top of his class at engineering school. Athletic. A leader. Always knew what he wanted. As a Filipino tech entrepreneur, his ultimate measure of success was to list his e-vehicle component company in the stock market through an initial public offering. “I want to be like Steve Jobs,” he once said.

The drive came from his humble beginnings. The desire to show his richer classmates that he could beat them in the game of life. To his friends and colleagues, it looked like he could walk on water.  His investors were happy with his progress, and were sure they would see big returns eventually. They were betting on his company, on his product, and on him.

But Ricardo had a flaw. His personal relationships were sacrificed on the altar of his own success. He didn’t have a problem with women. But he had a problem with deep relationships. This was perhaps borne out of several factors, one of which was his father’s absence for a major part of his life. Ricardo was close to his mother and sister, who preferred to stay in the province, but he had left to pursue his dream in the big city.

There were practical business reasons of course, but except for his mother and sister, his hometown reminded him of things he preferred to forget. His mother often told him to settle down, but he always dismissed it. There was also his late wife Anna, whom he still loved, who passed away a few years ago in his hometown. “It’s time to move on,” his mother said. “Maybe in the future Ma, but not yet,” he said.

With sheer determination, he inked a deal with a Japanese company that was coming out with an Asian e-vehicle. Ricardo staked his company’s future on that order, in much the same way that unknown startups like Intel and Microsoft became behemoths after being picked to supply chips and software for the first IBM personal computer in the ’80s.

Life was good for Ricardo. A bachelor awash with cash, no family responsibilities and deep relationships, he moved through life with ease. His girlfriend Karina was a head turner, who often sported the latest expensive fashion accessories such as an Hermes handbag. But for reasons Ricardo could not always explain, he did not really particularly care for her and her expensive tastes, even if he could afford it.

With the number of hours he devoted to his work, he truly deserved the material success he received. He was happy. Or at least he thought. Despite his high-flying dream, there was a nagging emptiness in his heart that he sensed but did not understand. The busy routine kept him from reflecting too much on it.

But one ordinary day the crisis hit. No one in their wildest dreams with their sophisticated mathematical risk modelled scenario plans had expected it. It just came. Everyone had to stay indoors. The economy slowed down to a trickle.

At first Ricardo thought it would only last for a few days. He reassured his jittery investors that there was nothing to worry about. Then days turned into weeks, and into months. Initially business plans were just put on hold, but eventually many of those were abandoned and jobs were lost.

Since his self-identity and his business were one, Ricardo fell into a deep depression. He now turned to drink, cigarettes, and unhealthy eating. The regular runs and gym workouts became occasional pursuits. His friends and employees could notice the anger and stress in his voice. Many times the cool demeanor gave way to sudden unprovoked outbursts.

One night while staring at Facebook he got a PM from Marie, an old college classmate from his hometown. She was pretty to him in a homely way, and not exactly his type, but he had always admired her intellect and demeanor. She worked for a non-profit in their province. “That’s something I can’t see myself doing,” he said. Inversely, she told him after working in the big city for a while, she went back and preferred to stay in their hometown.

Then the axe finally fell. His Japanese company order was cancelled as there were no new orders for Asian e-vehicles. “Takashi-san, please don’t do this,” he begged. But there was nothing that could be done. The business had simply disappeared, and so had his contract.

When his investors found out, they wanted their money back. Shouting matches erupted. “Damn it, you better return my money asap, or I’ll sue you,” one of them said. One time Ricardo almost hurled his phone at the wall in disgust. Threats were issued if he could not return their money. “The money has already been invested in research, capital equipment, office and manufacturing space, materials, and salaries for our employees,” he said.

They finally agreed to a future settlement once money became available, but it was painful for Ricardo. Old friendships had now been torn apart. This was not how he envisioned it would play out.

All this he unloaded on Marie. Slowly he began to form a deeper friendship with her. Once he told her what else prevented him from returning, and so he told her about Anna. But occasionally because of his insensitivity and alpha male ways, he would blurt out misogynist statements that would offend her. He would apologize and, after a while, she would accept and they would be friends again. Unlike the women he dated, she was simple yet pretty, elegant, and dignified in her own way. A confident woman who stood for something, a quality that really attracted him.

Then his investment banker Darren called him. “There will be no IPO, not just for you but for everyone else. The economy has halted to a trickle and there is no way that a successful public offering can be done in the near future. All expansion plans are on hold, some abandoned,” the banker said.

Even the investment banker had been laid off, so likewise he was also worried for his own financial security. Glitz and glamor aside, his now unemployed banker had just started working after graduating and had not really saved up anything. So Ricardo just told Darren to continue working on the papers, including an investor prospectus, as a freelancer, and he would pay him when he had the money. This did not suit Darren well, but he agreed as he had no choice.

Darren said he might know some possible buyers for the company, but this was a nonstarter for Ricardo. “I still want to do the IPO. The company is not for sale,” Ricardo said.

His own staff pestered him with questions. Ricardo avoided giving them bad news, as they always went out of their way to fix the problems that beset his product engineering and manufacturing efforts. When he asked them to deliver, they did. And so preserving their jobs was just as important to him as his own success.

A bachelor awash with cash, no family responsibilities and deep relationships, he moved through life with ease. His girlfriend Karina was a head turner, who often sported the latest expensive fashion accessories such as an Hermes handbag. But for reasons Ricardo could not always explain, he did not really particularly care for her and her expensive tastes, even if he could afford it.

Ricardo felt that the IPO would do that, and this is why he did not want to give up on it. He did not lie to his staff, but his statements began to reflect his wishful thinking. But his investors refused to lay off. They kept threatening him to return their money. Ricardo started to get panic attacks.

Then one day his estranged father Crisanto called out of the blue. Initially Ricardo was angry, but he gradually calmed down. In reality, Ricardo still missed him. Crisanto wanted to make amends. He was going back to their hometown to try and reconcile with his mother. Ricardo agreed he would come back to visit when he was there so they could talk. “I first need to fix the problems with this company, as it will define who I am and protect the jobs and financial interests of everyone involved,” he said.

Without trying to impose on him, Crisanto gave him some life advice. “I know I haven’t been around as a father, but allow me to give you some advice. You should continue to fight for the IPO if it is really your dream and measure of success no matter how long it takes. But do it for the right reasons. Sometimes a crisis is also an opportunity to examine why people do something. If you do this, make sure it is what will really make you happy. Because your happiness and success might actually lie elsewhere,” his dad said. He thanked his dad for the new insight before they both hung up.

Again he talked to Marie during their increasingly frequent chats. She asked him if he had gotten over Anna, but his answer was tentative. Then they decided to talk about lighter topics, but his impulsive alpha male self again asserted itself, and he again blurted something misogynist that deeply offended her. He apologized, but this time she did not reply back. Slowly, his father’s advice and this spat with Marie gave Ricardo pause and new insight.

Terry, the potential buyer that Darren had referred, called Ricardo to express interest in his business. Initially Ricardo tried to bluff that he was not interested, but Terry saw through it. “You and I both know there won’t be any IPOs in the near future, and there aren’t really any company buyers at this time, so I suggest you take my offer seriously,” said Terry.

Ricardo did not really want to sell. But he had no choice. Ricardo said he would first discuss it with his investors. After asking Darren to help him value the business, they came up with what they felt would be a fair price to sell the company. His investors agreed, and they sent the offer to Terry.

But Terry hardballed them and gave them his own offer. Grudgingly Ricardo accepted but told him that he would need to consult his investors again.

Some of his investors agreed to the offer, but one of them, Albert, refused to budge from their preagreed selling price. This resulted in a violent shouting match. “If you insist on this course of action, you will get nothing. There will be no deal. We will all lose!” Ricardo screamed. Finally, Albert agreed.

Ricardo then told Terry that they would accept his offer. “Okay Ricardo, we have a deal then. But I’d like you to be part of this deal and work for me,” Terry said.

But the crisis and the almost near collapse of his company, plus the developments in his family and his friendship with Marie had impacted Ricardo. He now had a deep dilemma he had to decide on. Would he stay with his company or go back to his hometown? His father was right. While Ricardo was sad that his original plans of an IPO would no longer materialize, in a way he was also glad that the crisis happened. While he knew he would no longer achieve his dream of becoming the Filipino Steve Jobs, something in him told him that the emptiness that dwelt in his heart might now be filled with something good.