President Duterte turned to his trusty jokes and punchlines to make typhoon "Odette" victims in Cebu laugh and perhaps forget about their plight, even for a little while.
During the distribution of government aid to the typhoon-affected families in the province, Duterte took the microphone and identified food and water as the most pressing needs there.
He said he would help look for viands to go with their meals, only to suggest to locals that they have table salt with their rice.
"If you want food, I directed my staff to make sure that nobody goes hungry, make sure you feed everybody with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’ll look for your viand, maybe just table salt. The Cebuanos are used to having that as viand anyway, just some malunggay and --- is there any malunggay here?" the President said in Bisaya.
"But seriously, help is on the way, just wait for a little while. Some of my Cabinet members are here," noted Duterte.
"I came here to let you know that help is on the way. Water is the only thing I can provide immediately so we bought water. When you run out of water, just drink seawater so that when you defecate, it will be salty," added Duterte, dropping another "salt joke".
The Chief Executive then pretended to be surprised when his former chief presidential legal counsel, laywer Salvador Panelo, approached him while he was talking to the typhoon victims.
"Why is this one bowing his head? Ah si Panelo, si Sal, he’s my Presidential Legal Adviser but he resigned to run for senator. Give him a round of applause. I’m not campaigning here but since we’re here to be with you in your time of need... It’s really painful to go through something like this," he said.
Remembering the civic duty that is having oneself vaccinated from the coronavirus disease (COVID-19), Duterte found it proper to ask his audience if they have already received the jab. Although the people shouted "Yes," Duterte was still worried about a particular section of society.
"The problem here are the drunkards. Let’s vaccinate them with vaccines for dogs. They will keep on barking," he said, again, in jest.
At one point in his speech, Duterte allegedly recognized someone from his past in the crowd and had an impromptu catch-up with her as the others looked on.
"No wonder you look dark. This is the --- she’s my classmate in grade four. Can you still remember? Yes, you’re my aunt. I haven’t visited in a while. Auntie, how are you? You’re just wearing shorts," he said.
The 76-year-old leader then concluded his speech with a rather "naughty" but familiar joke.
"So that’s it. What else do you want to request? For spouses who broke up, I don’t care about that. But if the wife is beautiful, I might bring her with me," Duterte said, drawing laughter.