Teaching kids to be social in this socially distant world
Published Nov 19, 2021 12:12 am
EDITORS DESK
Our six-year-old daughter asked us recently, “Mom, can I go outside already?”
Over family dinner, one of the conversations my husband and I had was about the news that children are allowed to go outside already. The Inter-Agency Task Force (IATF) for the Management of Emerging Infectious Diseases Resolutions announced that Metro Manila is now on alert level 2 until Nov. 21. This means that all ages can go out now—including children.
More than a year has passed since the first major lockdown happened. Our children have been cooped up inside the house for months. Since my husband and I both go out for work, but always with caution, we agreed that we shouldn’t bring our children to visit both sides of the family for fear of possible infection—even if point-to-point was allowed. So, yes, our children’s social interactions have been very limited and all done virtually.
The internet has been a boon and a bane for us during this pandemic. While it has been very beneficial in keeping us abreast with what’s happening and making sure we stay connected with each other, our children (and even adults) have become dependent on it, so much so that young kids think that the people they watch on the videos are their “friends” while pre-teens and teenagers rely on video games as one of their main sources of interaction.
So now that children are allowed to go out, the first questions that popped in my head were“Is it really safe?” and “Are they ready?” We didn’t bring the kids out for the last two weekends, but a lot of parents did. I saw it in my feed with videos being shared by friends who were out with their children. Most were paranoid and fought the anxiety of having their children exposed, while some opted to still dine at home or in the car and let the children roam outside for a bit. As for me and my husband, we’ve agreed to wait it out for a while before we bring the children out within Metro Manila.
In between those two weeks, there was also a report of a two-year-old boy who got infected with COVID-19 a few days after he was brought to the mall. “That's very unfortunate. That's why we are still reminding everyone to follow the public health protocols and for the parents to discern in bringing their kids to the mall to be careful and only if it is necessary,” Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG) Secretary Eduardo Año tells the Philippine News Agency (PNA).
Año adds, “The MMDA (Metropolitan Manila Development Authority), mayors are also reviewing the age restrictions to be allowed (in going) to the mall. While we have low COVID-19 cases, (the) pandemic is still not over. It is within the authority (of) LGUs to put restrictions as the situation may call for.”
While we trust our national leaders in navigating the nation through this pandemic that we are in, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be doing our part to take care of ourselves and each other as well. We’re not in the clear yet from COVID-19. We shouldn’t be complacent.
Mindfulness, now more than ever, needs to be inculcated. Imagine a child sneezing in front of yours or your child trying to touch a stranger’s child. So many similar scenarios go through my head, all in slow motion, that worries me. What’s a parent to do? Here comes the next phase as we slowly ease our children into this socially distant (for the time being, I hope) world.
Arm them with essentials
My family has been on a handful of trips the past year. Part of every trip includes a “serious” talk full of reminders on how things are different now and how we should behave outside. This includes wearing face masks properly, finding the right face shields for them, and practicing the use of alcohol to disinfect regularly. All these help us in being more careful when we start interacting outside. In fact, they have all three of these outdoor essentials in their own bags for easy access, but I also keep extra face masks and a big bottle of alcohol spray in my own “mommy pandemic” bag.
Keep your distance
We know this is a tall order to fill, especially for tots to follow. So what do we do as parents? Try to come up with a calmer word rather than saying “stop” out loud as this may create a negative impression on your children and even those in the vicinity. Agree on a “calming” secret safe word to use, so that when they hear it from you, they know that it means they should stop and keep their distance.
For children who understand a bit more of the situation, you can start by practicing social distancing at home. Show how far a meter apart is by raising your arm to a 90-degree angle. It’s the easiest way to give the kids a visual idea of how far away people should be from each other. And if they forget that they are getting closer to someone, call their attention with soft-spoken words. This way, everyone, especially children, in the surrounding area won’t panic.
Ask permission, respect decisions
Humans are innately social, even more so for children and even younger ones who have the excitement to explore—and mostly out of curiosity. So when that dreaded moment happens when children start interacting with other children, parents/guardians should always be there to assist and guide the little ones. All it takes, in between adults, is eye contact, a nod of approval, a handwave that means no, or even asking verbally for permission if it’s okay to interact. If they say no, it’s okay, just smile back, acknowledge, and respect their decision. And if we say no, let’s say it in a courteous manner so that the parents won’t be offended and the children won’t be traumatized with unwarranted negative reactions. Let’s make this world a better place—one day at a time.
(Jane Kingsu-Cheng is the sub-editor for Parenting of Manila Bulletin.)
Our six-year-old daughter asked us recently, “Mom, can I go outside already?”
Over family dinner, one of the conversations my husband and I had was about the news that children are allowed to go outside already. The Inter-Agency Task Force (IATF) for the Management of Emerging Infectious Diseases Resolutions announced that Metro Manila is now on alert level 2 until Nov. 21. This means that all ages can go out now—including children.
More than a year has passed since the first major lockdown happened. Our children have been cooped up inside the house for months. Since my husband and I both go out for work, but always with caution, we agreed that we shouldn’t bring our children to visit both sides of the family for fear of possible infection—even if point-to-point was allowed. So, yes, our children’s social interactions have been very limited and all done virtually.
The internet has been a boon and a bane for us during this pandemic. While it has been very beneficial in keeping us abreast with what’s happening and making sure we stay connected with each other, our children (and even adults) have become dependent on it, so much so that young kids think that the people they watch on the videos are their “friends” while pre-teens and teenagers rely on video games as one of their main sources of interaction.
So now that children are allowed to go out, the first questions that popped in my head were“Is it really safe?” and “Are they ready?” We didn’t bring the kids out for the last two weekends, but a lot of parents did. I saw it in my feed with videos being shared by friends who were out with their children. Most were paranoid and fought the anxiety of having their children exposed, while some opted to still dine at home or in the car and let the children roam outside for a bit. As for me and my husband, we’ve agreed to wait it out for a while before we bring the children out within Metro Manila.
In between those two weeks, there was also a report of a two-year-old boy who got infected with COVID-19 a few days after he was brought to the mall. “That's very unfortunate. That's why we are still reminding everyone to follow the public health protocols and for the parents to discern in bringing their kids to the mall to be careful and only if it is necessary,” Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG) Secretary Eduardo Año tells the Philippine News Agency (PNA).
Año adds, “The MMDA (Metropolitan Manila Development Authority), mayors are also reviewing the age restrictions to be allowed (in going) to the mall. While we have low COVID-19 cases, (the) pandemic is still not over. It is within the authority (of) LGUs to put restrictions as the situation may call for.”
While we trust our national leaders in navigating the nation through this pandemic that we are in, this doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be doing our part to take care of ourselves and each other as well. We’re not in the clear yet from COVID-19. We shouldn’t be complacent.
Mindfulness, now more than ever, needs to be inculcated. Imagine a child sneezing in front of yours or your child trying to touch a stranger’s child. So many similar scenarios go through my head, all in slow motion, that worries me. What’s a parent to do? Here comes the next phase as we slowly ease our children into this socially distant (for the time being, I hope) world.
Arm them with essentials
My family has been on a handful of trips the past year. Part of every trip includes a “serious” talk full of reminders on how things are different now and how we should behave outside. This includes wearing face masks properly, finding the right face shields for them, and practicing the use of alcohol to disinfect regularly. All these help us in being more careful when we start interacting outside. In fact, they have all three of these outdoor essentials in their own bags for easy access, but I also keep extra face masks and a big bottle of alcohol spray in my own “mommy pandemic” bag.
Keep your distance
We know this is a tall order to fill, especially for tots to follow. So what do we do as parents? Try to come up with a calmer word rather than saying “stop” out loud as this may create a negative impression on your children and even those in the vicinity. Agree on a “calming” secret safe word to use, so that when they hear it from you, they know that it means they should stop and keep their distance.
For children who understand a bit more of the situation, you can start by practicing social distancing at home. Show how far a meter apart is by raising your arm to a 90-degree angle. It’s the easiest way to give the kids a visual idea of how far away people should be from each other. And if they forget that they are getting closer to someone, call their attention with soft-spoken words. This way, everyone, especially children, in the surrounding area won’t panic.
Ask permission, respect decisions
Humans are innately social, even more so for children and even younger ones who have the excitement to explore—and mostly out of curiosity. So when that dreaded moment happens when children start interacting with other children, parents/guardians should always be there to assist and guide the little ones. All it takes, in between adults, is eye contact, a nod of approval, a handwave that means no, or even asking verbally for permission if it’s okay to interact. If they say no, it’s okay, just smile back, acknowledge, and respect their decision. And if we say no, let’s say it in a courteous manner so that the parents won’t be offended and the children won’t be traumatized with unwarranted negative reactions. Let’s make this world a better place—one day at a time.
(Jane Kingsu-Cheng is the sub-editor for Parenting of Manila Bulletin.)