IT’S THE SMALL THINGS

Twenty-four weeks into quarantine, and today, I celebrate my 30th birthday. What is most definitely considered a milestone birthday though will be celebrated in the most muted of manner – sans fancy, fanfare, let alone a fiesta – but in the presence of and with those who matter most. If you had told me this time last year that my 30th birthday would look like any normal dinner at home where even my closest friends would not be able to make it, I most likely would have scoffed at your face and rolled my eyes. But how times have indeed changed.

When I think about this past year and how I spent the last of my twenties, I still cannot fully wrap my head around the truth of spending half of the year – six full months – in quarantine, at home for the most part. I once had grand travel plans. It was supposed to be a year of back to back trips and flights, projects one after the other, and the usual norm of the more the merrier because busy is a blessing. Well, while I was busy making plans, it turns out that God had others. And in the end, His prospered, and always will, because His plans are always greater.

I instead sat at home, worked from home, and learned that I could do almost everything from home. I counted my blessings because I was one of the privileged ones not only to be able to have a home to do all of that from, but one who is at a position to offer help to those who need it the most. I had ample time – sometimes way too much – to let my mind and imagination wander. To reflect, and realize so much I otherwise would never have. I took the small luxuries for granted, but in the end, it really is what counts. Among many of those is coming to terms with the fact that none of us are invincible even in our youth. Gone are the days of powering through a measly cold and sore throat because selflessness and care these days is defined by isolating oneself at the onset of such symptoms to spare others. And though our world has seemingly turned upside down, we relish in the beauty of slow living while we can. It dictates almost everything these days. We listen to our bodies and take it from there. Health is most definitely wealth, and this has brought about one of my biggest realizations.

That luxury (these days) is no longer defined by material things, or rather, anything we can buy. True luxury cannot always be bought, and ironically, because it has no real price to it these days, can be afforded by anyone. That is the great equalizer that COVID-19 has become – it has awakened us to truths that we would be so resistant to before. If you have the luxury of staying at home, of extra time, of being with your loved ones at this unprecedented time; of having the choice as to whether to expose yourself in the front lines or not, consider yourself blessed. These are luxuries finances can enable, yes, but cannot always assure or ensure. Comfort can only be bought to a certain extent, but peace of mind is priceless. And this, is what we are most thankful for these days.

At the end of the day, we will always aspire to be our best, and we are most thankful to those who choose to stick around and love us even at our worst. As I turn thirty, I will bring with me all the realizations and lessons this past year has taught me. Needs will supersede wants, and quality will now always trump quantity, most especially in friendships and relationships. Here is to a lifelong continuing discovery of the little we need, and what we need more of to substantially feel fulfilled. And while times have definitely changed, and on many days it seems like we woke up in a whole new world, we must choose to consciously and consistently seek the sliver linings as not to find ourselves in a slump of downward spirals. Easier said than done, yes, but it all begins with choosing an attitude of gratitude, and conditioning that mindset. So while I yearn for the more carefree yesterdays of my yesteryears, and as I hang on to its beautiful memories to power me through what my tomorrows will bring, I am thankful – for all that has been, all that is despite the unprecedented times, and I remain hopeful still for all that is yet to be.

I will end this by saying that on my 30th birthday, I am grateful for so many things which would have seemed so mundane and redundant in the past. I am thankful to be alive and healthy, and that my loved ones also are. I am thrilled to have been able to be productive even during some of the slowest and direst months. I am blessed to have been able to live through moments which though seemingly small and insignificant are most meaningful. It is no longer about what stands out, or big celebratory moments, but rather, the everyday consistent gestures of kindness and love that get us by. I am encouraged at the thought of still being able to dream and be hopeful – because while there is hope, tomorrow is still full of possibilities. I am grateful to be loved, and for those who unhesitatingly remind me of their love, albeit in a multitude of languages on a daily basis. I am indebted to these people for letting me into their lives, and keeping me in even at the most vulnerable and tumultuous of times. Most especially, I am grateful to be able to love – wholeheartedly, and to those who matter most. Because at the end of the day, as the famous tune goes, “What matters most is that we loved at all” (Kenny Rankin).