The pop icon reveals she thought about suicide every day and hated ‘being famous’ on her journey to self-love
American singer and actress Lady Gaga is continuing to be open about her mental health struggle.
Recently, she talked about how depressing fame could be, and said she had reached a point where she “totally gave up” on herself.
“I hated being famous, I hated being a star, I felt exhausted and used up,” she said in an interview with CBS Sunday Morning. “My biggest enemy is Lady Gaga, that’s what I was thinking. You can’t go to the grocery store now. You can’t have dinner with your family without it being about you. All the time it’s about you.”
Gaga said she used to have suicidal thoughts every day, too, and people watched her for a couple of years to make sure that she was safe.
“I didn’t really understand why I should live other than to be there for my family,” she recalled. “That was an actual real thought and feeling: Why should I stick around?”
Gaga said her biggest trigger is being objectified and being bombarded in public, like when people shove cellphones at her to take photos.
“If I’m at the grocery store and somebody comes up very close to me and starts taking pictures, I’m just total panic, full-body pain,” she said. “I’m braced because I’m so afraid. It’s like I’m an object, I’m not a person.”
Things got better, she said, since the release of her sixth album Chromatica, which offers a candid look at a dark time in her life dealing with mental illness and trauma recovery.
“I don’t hate Lady Gaga anymore,” she said. “I found a way to love myself again, even when I thought that was never gonna happen.”
If you are in an emotional crisis and in need of assistance, contact the National Center for Mental Health crisis hotline through 0917-899-8727 or (02)7-989-8727.