SONA-inspired joke gets slow clap
Published Jul 31, 2018 04:05 pm
All the drama in Congress during the last State of the Nation Address (SONA) beat all teleseryes in the ratings game . But, it reminds me now of a joke that circulated on social media just two hours later. I don’t know who wrote it but I give this work of fiction a slow clap:
THE AUTHOR with House Speaker Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
“What happened before the SONA”
Joyce Bernal to Martin Andanar: “The sounds of speakers in Congress is too loud and basag talaga tunog...”
Andanar: “I’ll see what I can do...”
Bernal: “We can replace it with a small one like the compact Bose soundlink type speakers...”
Andanar to Bong Go: “SAP Bong, the director has checked the sound system in Congress. The speakers are not good, they need to be replaced with small ones. But we’re short in budget, pwede ba sa fund muna ng OPS?”
Go: “Ok.”
Go to President Rodrigo “Digong” Duterte: “Mayor, pangit daw speaker sa Congress. Kailangan palitan ng maliit, kailangan daw pati funding from OPS muna...”
Digong: “Okay, ipa-asikaso ko na kay Baste at mahilig din naman siya sa mga sounds sound na yan...”
Digong to Baste Duterte: “Hello Baste, tumawag ako dahil maingay daw masyado speaker sa Congress. Papalitan mo ng mga maliit na Bose.”
Baste: “Okay, Papa, aayusin ko po agad..”
Baste starts to leave but Sarah Duterte stops him...
Sarah: “Hoy Baste, saan na naman lakad mo...”
Baste: “Inutusan ako ni Papa, palitan daw ’yung speaker sa congress Bose speaker na maliit.”
Sarah: “Ah ’wag na, mapapagod ka lang, itawag ko na lang.”
Baste: “Okay pero pakisabi Kay Papa...”
Sarah: “Ako ng bahala, ora mismo!”
Sarah calls Cong. Antonio Floirendo Jr.: “Cong. hello, maingay daw speaker dyan sa congress sabi ni Papa, kailangan palitan ng maliit na speaker.”
THE AUTHOR with Cong. Art Yap (third from left)
Florendo: “Kung sinabi ng Pangulo na palitan ’yung maingay na speaker eh mas mainam. Pero dapat alam ng mga kaalyado natin. Pakitulungan mo na akong magta-tawag. Teka, sigurado ka sinabi ng Pangulo na palitan ang speaker ha?”
Sarah: “Yes gyud Cong. Floirendo, sinabi kay Baste baga.... ’yun daw maliit na speaker ang ipalit.”
Day comes
Bernal to Andanar: “Bakit ’di napalitan ang mga speakers?”
Andanar: “’Di ko alam. Pero sinabi ko kay SAP Bong Go...”
Sarah to Digong: “Sabi mo raw palitan speaker sa house...”
Now my funny embarrassing incident: Newly-elected speaker of the house President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo was the guest of honor of her son Mikey Arroyo who recently put up the new Japanese Wagyu restaurant Miyazaki Gyu in BGC. Cong. Art Yap was invited.
My friend Faith Clero suddenly saw this man beside President Arroyo and told me, “Oh my God! That’s the selfie king Bong Go! I want a picture of him. Giselle, please introduce him to me.”
I did not want to disrupt the conversation between President Gloria and Bong Go so while he was looking at me, I mouthed out the words, hoping he could read my lips: “Bong Go, pa-selfie.”
He immediately excused himself and went over to our table to the delight of my friend. He then went up to me, “Had you not
campaigned for me in the recent years, I will not have forgiven you.”
Bacause he was upclose then, I realized he was not Bong Go but Congressman Art Yap of Bohol.
My husband Emil was so embarrassed for me he had to apologize again to the rumored next governor of Bohol. He humbly answered, “Giselle is still a friend even if her eyes are failing her. Besides it’s a common mistake. Even Bong Go joked to my father that he was his illegitimate son from Aling Inday, the labandera, because of our resemblance.
“And its not the first time it happened. Even an evening news report program put my picture in the news when they were reporting about Bong Go...”
THE AUTHOR with House Speaker Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo
“What happened before the SONA”
Joyce Bernal to Martin Andanar: “The sounds of speakers in Congress is too loud and basag talaga tunog...”
Andanar: “I’ll see what I can do...”
Bernal: “We can replace it with a small one like the compact Bose soundlink type speakers...”
Andanar to Bong Go: “SAP Bong, the director has checked the sound system in Congress. The speakers are not good, they need to be replaced with small ones. But we’re short in budget, pwede ba sa fund muna ng OPS?”
Go: “Ok.”
Go to President Rodrigo “Digong” Duterte: “Mayor, pangit daw speaker sa Congress. Kailangan palitan ng maliit, kailangan daw pati funding from OPS muna...”
Digong: “Okay, ipa-asikaso ko na kay Baste at mahilig din naman siya sa mga sounds sound na yan...”
Digong to Baste Duterte: “Hello Baste, tumawag ako dahil maingay daw masyado speaker sa Congress. Papalitan mo ng mga maliit na Bose.”
Baste: “Okay, Papa, aayusin ko po agad..”
Baste starts to leave but Sarah Duterte stops him...
Sarah: “Hoy Baste, saan na naman lakad mo...”
Baste: “Inutusan ako ni Papa, palitan daw ’yung speaker sa congress Bose speaker na maliit.”
Sarah: “Ah ’wag na, mapapagod ka lang, itawag ko na lang.”
Baste: “Okay pero pakisabi Kay Papa...”
Sarah: “Ako ng bahala, ora mismo!”
Sarah calls Cong. Antonio Floirendo Jr.: “Cong. hello, maingay daw speaker dyan sa congress sabi ni Papa, kailangan palitan ng maliit na speaker.”
THE AUTHOR with Cong. Art Yap (third from left)
Florendo: “Kung sinabi ng Pangulo na palitan ’yung maingay na speaker eh mas mainam. Pero dapat alam ng mga kaalyado natin. Pakitulungan mo na akong magta-tawag. Teka, sigurado ka sinabi ng Pangulo na palitan ang speaker ha?”
Sarah: “Yes gyud Cong. Floirendo, sinabi kay Baste baga.... ’yun daw maliit na speaker ang ipalit.”
Day comes
Bernal to Andanar: “Bakit ’di napalitan ang mga speakers?”
Andanar: “’Di ko alam. Pero sinabi ko kay SAP Bong Go...”
Sarah to Digong: “Sabi mo raw palitan speaker sa house...”
Now my funny embarrassing incident: Newly-elected speaker of the house President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo was the guest of honor of her son Mikey Arroyo who recently put up the new Japanese Wagyu restaurant Miyazaki Gyu in BGC. Cong. Art Yap was invited.
My friend Faith Clero suddenly saw this man beside President Arroyo and told me, “Oh my God! That’s the selfie king Bong Go! I want a picture of him. Giselle, please introduce him to me.”
I did not want to disrupt the conversation between President Gloria and Bong Go so while he was looking at me, I mouthed out the words, hoping he could read my lips: “Bong Go, pa-selfie.”
He immediately excused himself and went over to our table to the delight of my friend. He then went up to me, “Had you not
campaigned for me in the recent years, I will not have forgiven you.”
Bacause he was upclose then, I realized he was not Bong Go but Congressman Art Yap of Bohol.
My husband Emil was so embarrassed for me he had to apologize again to the rumored next governor of Bohol. He humbly answered, “Giselle is still a friend even if her eyes are failing her. Besides it’s a common mistake. Even Bong Go joked to my father that he was his illegitimate son from Aling Inday, the labandera, because of our resemblance.
“And its not the first time it happened. Even an evening news report program put my picture in the news when they were reporting about Bong Go...”