Joy officers with Viel Aquino Dee at the Manila Doctors Hospital

“In the long run of life,
The sharpest weapon of all is
a kind and gentle spirit.
So be kind to unkind people-
They need it most!”
- Pempe Rodrigo

On Monday will be the opening of the photo exhibit of the wake and funeral of Tita Cory at 6 p.m. at the South Court, Power Plant Mall, Rockwell. Maestro Ryan Cayabyab and the RCS singers will render meaningful songs. It promises to be an emotional evening.

This is the second run after the very successful opening at the Mall of Asia on the 40th day after the funeral. These prints were the photos published abroad and nationally of her demise. This TuloyPinoy project with Kameraworld will send the prints to Cebu for several exhibits and from there to Davao.

Cancer used to ‘happen’ only to others, not to you or your loved ones. Right?

Well, it is ‘happening’ to many families today… a dear one suddenly diagnosed with the dreaded Big C! Why us? How long do we have with him or her? How can we cope? How can we prepare for the inevitable separation?

Questions…tension, problems. Cancer knows no boundaries and strikes at the heart of many families.

Last Sunday, for the first time since her mother’s death and “people’s funeral,” the “invisible” Aquino, third daughter Viel Dee, spoke in public, movingly and candidly, about her mother’s journey with cancer at the monthly meeting of the non-stock, non-profit group, the “Joy in Living Foundation” at the Manila Doctors Hospital.

The group, composed of cancer patients, survivors, their caregivers, family members and their doctors listened intently as Viel walked them through her mom’s final journey. She recounted how they first reacted when their mom’s doctor told everyone’s beloved  Tita Cory that she had cancer of the liver, stage 4.

Present were Noynoy and Ballsy who couldn’t believe what they just heard.  Their mother was calm and composed even after hearing the grim prognosis from the tests conducted on her. Then she told the doctor the often- quoted words of courage and grace – “I have led a full life. I cannot ask for anything more. I am ready to meet my Creator.” And she consoled her children and doctor.

From the initial diagnosis of liver cancer, a second doctor they showed the tests to found the primary source of the cancer – the colon. This made the cancer more treatable, so their hopes soared as newer treatments were discussed. This was the first stage encountered, the emotional impact on them.

It was harder, Viel admitted, because their mom was “public property” and sooner or later, news would spread. Their mom decided to have Kris and Noynoy make the announcement of her mom’s cancer limiting it to a single issue – colon cancer. It was easier to explain, even if they appealed for some privacy.  The media started its constant “health watch,” while sympathy and prayers poured in from friends and strangers. While the stream of loving inquiries about Tita Cory’s health was reassuring, it was also difficult for the family to be constantly reminded about the sad reality of her illness.

How, Viel poignantly asked, could they give the public,  details of how their mother could no longer eat, or walk to the bathroom , or that they had to have the fluids in her stomach drained?

The physical aspect of the journey was life-altering too as they moved their mom, with her permission, to live in Ballsy’s house. She and Pinky share a common backyard, and Viel lived nearby so they could always have dinners or lunches with her, take turns watching and sleeping with her and the grandchildren could come and visit frequently. Ballsy was the one who was really her “nurse” even though they had caregivers for her.

Thus were they able to live a semblance of normalcy in their mom’s last months. She was even well enough in between chemo and radiation treatments to go to the office occasionally, have lunch with close friends and go to Saturday evening masses at the private chapel at Meralco! During those “outings,” it was hard for the family to keep friends from bussing their mom or coming too near as she had to avoid crowds. Her feet also shrunk and they had to buy new shoes for her as she could not go herself. To avoid media attention even having regular check-ups and two special surgeries were done almost in secrecy

Any cancer patient knows the burden of financial costs of the illness. Fortunately, Cory had ample savings due, Viel pointed out, to her simple lifestyle. She did not want to burden any of her children although Noynoy early on offered his own savings. And her doctors did not charge for their services leaving her and her family at a loss how to thank them. To some of them, Cory gave her paintings.

Because of their mom’s readiness to meet her Creator, the strong foundation she gave them by her life’s example,  her willingness to try the medical treatments which helped extend her life, they were able to accept the inevitable although they wanted to hold on to her. She wanted, she told her eldest daughter Ballsy, to leave after she had fully prepared them as she felt that “You were not yet ready.”

Cancer patients and their families know, Viel said, that this preparation time is a gift. The family prayed the rosary daily around her, even if sometimes she would be too weak to answer. The prayers by millions at the start of her journey until the end helped not only the children but their mom too, Viel said. When she had the strength she answered the text messages herself and later had them read to her by Ballsy, Pinky or Viel.     

In conclusion, Viel affirmed that “Cancer is not easy to live with. But in spite of all the pain and tears, we have so much to be thankful for –the people who offered prayers for her and showed them their love for her when she passed away, the medical teams and hospital staff who loved her like their own and made the unbearable days a little bit more bearable.”

Their last five weeks with their mom in the hospital brought the siblings closer to each other, Viel said. This was their mom’s preparation for them.

“We thank God for giving us a mother like Cory –who always lived to make us happy, who encouraged us to be the best we could be and she tried her best to shield us from the world’s cruelty. She made our lives as normal as possible no matter what the circumstances were. She was our mother and our father for a very long time and she is greatly responsible for what we are today. She really walked her talk so it was easy for us to follow her example.

In the end she made it easy for us to shower her with all the love we could give her when she needed us those last 17 months. And I would like to think that we were given the chance to show her how much we love her and the chance to give back even just a little for all that she sacrificed for us. We love you mom. We miss you every single day.”

* * *

The Joy in Living Foundation will join the Mission Angels for a special musical evening on Thursday, Nov. 26 at the Meralco theatre. The concert dubbed “A Joyful Musical Mission” will feature Immigration Commissioner Nonoy Libanan and his band, violinist John Lesaca, saxophonist Eddie Katindig, tenor Ramon Acoymo, the Angelos, soprano Pinky Marquez.

The foundation holds healing, arts classes, wellness sessions and several activities for their members every month.