Question: I have a nine-year-old child who was diagnosed with autism at 4 years old. We enrolled him to a special school when he was six years old. Every start of the school year, we are having a hard time convincing him to go to school. The usual scenario on the first day of school is he always cries and shouts, making it hard for the teacher to handle him and the class as well. What option do we have when this happens? Should we look for another school? What is the proper school or classroom set up for kids with autism? What is the set the set up we should look for so he would not be hesitant to go to school? Thanks.

Many children with autism are more emotional, more sensitive and more prone to tears.

When a baby is born, its first method of communicating to the parent is by crying. It does not take very long for the infant to figure out that “If I cry someone will come and feed me” or “change my diaper,” or “rock me and make me feel better.”

Crying is a very primitive form of communication. Because autism is a neurologically based disorder, infants later diagnosed with autism even have impairments in this area. Children with autism thrive on familiarity so when they are placed into a new situation, it’s common if they panic a little bit.

When tantrum/crying occurs it is a good idea for a child to have a “rest area.” A rest area is just a place for a child with autism to go and calm down. It should be a quiet area away from any extra sensory stimuli. A spot at the end of a hallway is good. (Janet Lawrence)

Is your child, over-attached to you? He might be displaying separation anxiety from you and he shows it by crying. Experts say that until the age of three, children are usually unable to retain a mental picture or understand the concept of time. When your child can’t see you, he or she might assume you’re gone forever.

Even a slightly older child may experience fear in your absence specially children with special needs/autism.

There are a number of things you can do to help prepare your child for that first-day of classes:

• Tell your child in advance that he or she soon will be going to school.
• Be positive and reassure your child that school is a good place. Never use school as a threat or a means to change your child’s behavior.
• Prepare for new school experiences by using puppets or by role-playing some enjoyable school activities.
• Read age-appropriate books about going to school to help your child know what to expect. Or work with your child to make a storybook about going to school. Prepare the night before by planning meals, clothes and transportation. (Sue LeBeau.)
• For the child with autism, problem behaviors may be triggered for a variety
of reasons. For example, your child may start crying in going to school because his summer vacation was disrupted, as their way of expressing confusion at what is going on in their environment. Plan a relaxing day or two before school starts. Don’t rush back from a family vacation or other stimulating experience.
• Let your child bring a security object to school, like a stuffed toy, or give your child your photo to keep.
• Your child has been in school before, draw on that visit. Point out things he may remember, whether it was an orientation or a trip to meet the teacher. Say things like, “Hey, there are those toys you played with the last time we were here. Remember how you built that great tower? Maybe you could do that again.”
• What you do the night before the first day can help set the tone. Talk to your child about what is going to happen and about what their expectations are for the day. Spend some time packing a backpack if your child has one. You can put in a photo of yourself or other family members if you think that might help. If the school allows it, let him bring his favorite toy that’s important to your child, but  double-check the school’s policy. Playing “school” is a great way to help your child understand how school works and what will go on while he is there. You can even review basic “academics” – that he had learned while in school.

Don’t be too concerned if, in spite of your best efforts, your child cries and refuses to leave your side the first day of school. Clinging and crying are healthy coping mechanisms in very young children, so try not to overreact.

Most concerned teachers will allow you to stay in the classroom for awhile. Gradually lessen the amount of time you stay. Remember, not all children will enter school with complete comfort.

Starting/continuing school is one of the earliest and most challenging goodbyes between a child and parent.

But successfully mastering this new challenge can increase a child’s feeling of self-confidence and security. It can also strengthen a child’s emotional health, which is as important as physical health.

Preparation - yours and your child’s - can smooth the transition, however whether your child is starting
school or continuing schooling there are many simple things you can do to help prepare him or her for this new adventure for every beginning of a school-year. Eisla Sebastian shares to parents these tips:

1. Set up summer school visit with your child. These visits may start out as a car trip to the school and back home and gradually progress to spending time inside the school as the new school year draws closer. Make an appointment to set up school visits. Walk through the building locating the classrooms, bathrooms and lunchroom.
2. Talk about the new school calendar. Talk with your child about the new school and make it sound exciting and fun. Let them know when the school year will start, who their teacher will be and what they will be doing.
3. Mark the first day of school on your calendar – Have your child help you to mark the first day of school on a calendar. Then write in the box “First Day of School.” Create a count down to school calendar. Each day will have the number of days left until school starts written in its box. You can start the day by going to the calendar, marking off the last day and talking about how many days are left until school starts.
4 - Shop for school supplies – Together write a shopping list and in the bookstore have your child help you find the school supplies he needs for school. Be proactive attend meetings and activities at the school or set up brief meetings with the principal and teachers. Network with parents you already know and work together in making schooling for your children a bubbly and dynamic experience.

The core characteristics of autism fall into three categories: differences in reciprocal social interactions, communication, and behavior. With appropriate assistance, children with autism can engage with peers and establish mutually enjoyable and lasting meaningful relationships with children and adults.

Discuss with the school authorities, teachers how you can become a participative partner in educating your child. Learning and understanding the curriculum, varied teaching strategies and activities such as behavior modification techniques will surely make a difference.

Try reading these books, Special Children, Challenged Parents: The Struggles and Rewards of Raising a Child with a Disability, Change by a Child, Special Kids Need Special Parents. It will inspire your as a parent in rearing a special child like your child. For more information visit www.parentingchallengers.com and www.parentingbookmark.com. God bless!