It’s not every day you get to engage in meaningful conversations with a monk, let alone with bestselling author Haemin Sunim. So, when the opportunity arises, you seize it.

Last month, the renowned Zen Buddhist visited the Philippines, making stops at the University of the Philippines Diliman in Quezon City and Fully Booked Bonifacio High Street in Taguig.

His teachings on mindfulness and self-compassion have inspired millions around the world through his critically acclaimed books, including Love for Imperfect Things and When Things Don’t Go Your Way.

In his brief book tour in the country, the esteemed ascetic imparted some of his profound knowledge on facing life’s challenges with grace, resilience, and acceptance. Here are some of our takeaways from an afternoon chat with Haemin.

For the South Korean writer, fulfillment isn’t found in grand achievements or material wealth but in quiet, everyday moments that uplift the soul. He believes happiness can be attained through simple yet powerful habits like smiling, taking deep breaths, going for walks, and practicing gratitude. 

“Before I sleep, I always say to the universe, ‘I am so grateful’,” he beams. “I’m grateful I get to go to Manila, grateful that I get to taste bibingka!” he adds, encouraging others to find gratitude in life’s modest pleasures.

Haemin also emphasizes the power of active listening. He emphasizes that real connection comes from being fully present and engaged. When we listen without judgments or distractions, we nurture better relationships with others.

“Giving your presence means putting away your mobile phone. Pay attention to the other person and actually listen. Show them you care,” he explains.

Haemin’s journey combines a strong academic background with spiritual discipline. He studied at the University of California, Berkeley, Harvard, and Princeton before embracing monastic life at Haein Monastery in South Korea. For seven years, he shared his insights as a professor of Asian religions at Hampshire College in Massachusetts.

Meanwhile, his foray into writing began in 2000 with an invitation to contribute to a local newspaper. His words resonated with readers and captured widespread attention, which led to a publishing deal. What started as a single article blossomed into the acclaimed self-help guide, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down.

In 2015, Haemin Sunim founded the School for Broken Hearts, offering spiritual and psychological counseling. Now based in Seoul, he dedicates his time to supporting others on their paths to personal growth.

Haemin advocates for both self-reflection and compassion, highlighting that true understanding of ourselves and others is essential for navigating negative emotions. “All of us suffer. We all have disappointments. Whenever we feel such emotions, instead of getting overwhelmed, try to understand why. What's causing these thoughts? Often, it stems from a lack of understanding,” he explains.

He points out that when we genuinely seek to understand someone, from their upbringing to their values and struggles, we foster greater acceptance and empathy.

Ending his short lecture, he urges everyone to embrace vulnerability as a path to authenticity. “Some people will like you, some people won’t. The truth of the matter is we cannot please everyone. Rather than being afraid to be judged, choose to become vulnerable and stand in the truth of who you are.”