MEDIUM RARE 

Of all the activities known to man, eating carries with it the most idiosyncratic practices.

I may be wrong, but practically everyone I know has some belief or other about food that keeps them from consuming certain dishes or types of food. My friends and relatives aren’t all that weird, but watching them, eating with them becomes all the more interesting just because they represent a spectrum of personalities distinguished by their diets and eating habits.

I had a friend – he is now in heaven, where he no longer needs food – who said he couldn’t eat “anything with a face” – even the tiniest baby shrimp (“alamang”) has a face. Which didn’t mean that he did not touch bagoong, or did he? Another friend refuses to eat fish that was “fished out of the mud.”

My friends in TM (Transcendental Movement) in the US have been pure vegetarians for the last half-century and more (since I met them in 1984), and they’re as healthy as anyone with a less restrictive diet, especially the ones who have chosen to live in India. One could even say that they are healthier than a lot of other people. Why, they’re so disciplined that they happily stay away from spices like garlic and chili, simply because these substances disturb the state of a meditator’s emotional and psychological wellbeing. 

Most of the time, diets are influenced by religion. Buddhists do not eat beef, Hindus do not eat pork. Jews do not eat chicken and egg together. Catholics observe certain holy days of fasting and abstinence, particularly during the Holy Week.

When religion is not a factor, diets come and go as fads. Brides starve themselves for weeks before the wedding because they want to be the picture-perfect, pale and blushing beauty in a white gown when they walk down the aisle. A bachelor who lives in our neighborhood believes that by denying himself the joy of eating noodles and rice he’ll lose the little cushion that’s been threatening to build around his waistline; no, he’s not contemplating marriage anytime soon.

Vanity is a good way to avoid carbs – starch, sugar, “anything white.” Next time you’ll be born, ask your parents to give you a healthy metabolism.