UNDER THE MICROSCOPE
The Senate just approved a bill that will finally (if enacted into law) allow absolute divorce in the Philippines.
Known as Senate Bill No. 2443, or “Dissolution of Marriage Act,” it was signed by no less than nine senators and provides grounds for divorce. Among them are: Five years of separation, rape by respondent-spouse against petitioner-spouse before or after marriage, physical violence or grossly abusive conduct, divorce decree in a foreign jurisdiction, irreconcilable differences and annulment or dissolution of marriage by a religious or indigenous cultural community to which both parties belong.
Of note is that the House of Representatives’ counterpart version of the divorce bill has reached the plenary level. The House version has similar provisions but added an interesting one that states sex re-assignment surgery of one partner is a valid ground for divorce.
But it remains to be seen if both Houses will agree on a common version that they will pass. Even if that happens, the $64 question is if the president will sign it into law, or failing to act on it, allow it to lapse into law.
Representative Edcel Lagman, author and principal advocate of the House bill, said that “An absolute divorce bill is urgently necessary for marriages which have collapsed and are beyond repair, where the majority of victims are the wives who have been subjected to cruelty, violence, infidelity and abandonment.”
He further noted that “the overwhelming majority of Filipino marriages are happy, enduring and loving. They do not need the divorce law.” Of course, that doesn’t preclude the husband from engaging in extramarital affairs, which some wives tolerate as long as they are financially supported. Thus, we have many, and across all socioeconomic classes, carrying on with other women. Notorious are some men in uniform who seem to think it is more macho to have a “kulasisi” (mistress) or two, or three, on the side, which reinforces their manliness.
A legal divorce allows for the partners to have an amicable settlement and for the support of the other partner who may not be able to live on her own and for the children, who are the main victims of a failed relationship.
It bears repeating that the Philippines is the only country other than the Vatican (which has no reason to have one since priests have a vow of celibacy) that doesn’t allow divorce. Even other countries with predominantly Catholic populations as in Central and South America. Spain, Ireland, Portugal and Italy allow legal divorces.
So why should we be different? Let’s look at how bad marriages play out in this country. Dissolution of marriage can be availed of in the Catholic Church on grounds of psychological incapacity or failure to consummate the marriage, but this is so protracted and time-consuming as well as expensive. Thus, only well-moneyed couples avail of it. It is as good as divorce but without the legal implications of spousal and child support.
Many couples simply opt out by means of separation, legal or otherwise. In another news item, a lawyer was disbarred by the Supreme Court for abandoning his legal family and cohabiting with another woman, and adding insult to injury, the case was bandied about in social media. The lawyer also committed bigamy by entering into marriage with his live-in partner. Unfortunately, the judgment did not state that he was to provide support for his legal wife and child. By disbarring him, the court has deprived him of his livelihood that could have been used for spousal and child support.
Scandalous as it may seem, many Filipinos simply don’t even bat an eye at these extramarital affairs. They voted into power a popular actor who has publicly acknowledged he had many partners and illegitimate children. More recently they voted another man into office who has a live-in partner and who flirted with women in public. Where was the outrage over these?
Nowadays, many more choose to cohabit without the benefit of legal or church marriages. The younger generation is more sexually liberated and living-in has become the norm. If the relationship falls apart, they simply split up to find others to have an affair with.
It is but right to have legal divorce as a way out of failed marriages. As for the Christian doctrine of “What God hath wrought, let no man put asunder,” it is honored more in the breach by adultery, violence, both physical and psychological, and failure to support the family. Continuing to deny this reality is itself sheer hypocrisy.
The author and wife have just celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary and are happy to stay in the relationship. My wife assures me there is no conflict of interest here.