ONE FOR THE ROAD

Another day, another viral video, of yet another arrogant road user losing their cool and becoming the next internet  sensation. Seems we can’t go a week online without seeing some loose nut behind the steering wheel go all breaking bad. This has even prompted some law makers to introduce tougher penalties as a way of tightening the screws on these nut jobs.

But while I’m all for throwing the book at these thugs, you know what they say about an ounce of prevention being better than a pound of cure, right? So I thought I would spend the rest of this column looking at why road rage happens to begin with, so we can learn how to avoid it before it is too late.

Because the good news here is, while it may seem like Metro Manila is the traffic capital of the world with a monopoly on bad drivers and hot heads, to be fair, road rage happens everywhere, and is usually far worse in many first world countries. In fact, the irony here is, precisely because it is so chaotic on our roads, we tend to be a lot more tolerant than most other developed countries, simply because our expectations are so low already.

Basically, we expect people to drive like donkeys. So we come more mentally prepared for it and have learned how to pick our battles. As opposed to places that are so used to order and  discipline, when even a minor infraction is done—like failing to use a signal light—it tends to get very personal, very fast.

So how can we help prevent it? First we must realize that road rage is usually a reflection of a much deeper issue, so we need to be aware of that before getting behind the wheel. For example, if you just had a fight with your partner, it’s probably not a good idea to drive through rush hour traffic because every single infraction from other drivers may feel like sandpaper on your open wound.

But if you do find yourself in a situation where you are already on the road and your temper starts to flare up to a point where you are about to smash your horn, or worse, get out of the car and confront another driver…don’t. Just don’t. Take a deep breath and count to 10. Then ask yourself this question: Will this matter end in 15 minutes time? Chances are it won’t even rate a mention over the dinner table. But how you react to it could have lifelong consequences. Read that again.

One of the reasons so many of us react so out of character during a road rage event is because we tend to dehumanize the other drivers. We don’t see them as people; we see them as a mechanical expression of one, but not as a person, mainly because we can’t make direct eye contact with them.

It is easy to objectify people and reduce them to an avatar of themselves when you’re both encased in over one ton of metal and tinted glass; it provides the same feeling of anonymity and false sense of security that a keyboard and monitor gives to an internet troll. This is why whenever we get disrespected on the road, like when we get cut off or someone takes our parking space, it becomes so easy to respond so inappropriately and out of character.  So next time try imagining that person as someone’s dad, or son, or brother instead of just another problem in your way. It helps. Because you will tend to respond with empathy rather than fear or anger.

And lastly,  no matter how in the right you may be, or how wrong the other guy was, none of it matters if it all ends up in either 15 minutes of shame on the internet because someone recorded and posted it, or worse, lying in a pool of your own blood gasping for your last breath.

The only thing you will probably ask yourself is: Was it worth it? Was this really the hill I chose to die on? 

Because as someone famous once said, “road rage is the expression of the amateur sociopath in all of us, cured by running into a professional.”