How to teach children to develop a happy disposition

THE INSIDE OF A FISH The author with her students dissecting fish in pre-school anatomy (Cover design by Jules Vivas)

A smile or the sound of laughter is not always an indicator of a happy child. More often than not, these are momentary emotional reactions to a situation, just as throwing a tantrum or crying isn’t indicative of an angry or sad child.

So how can we guide a child on a path of true happiness?

Throughout the years I’ve worked with children, I’ve observed a number of ways that contribute to a child’s happy disposition.

A safe and loving environment encourages a child to explore their potential. It allows freedom, expression, and discovery of the world around them and their inner selves.

The children I work with are happiest when they are playing—exploring, discovering, and building their own system of learning.

Through play-based learning, one can design activities that promote things such as creativity, sportsmanship, social and emotional development, and independence. When activities involve play, learning becomes fun and happier individuals are developed.

SNAIL TRAIL Children under a transparent sheet to watch snails move over it in a preschool class

Play is the force that motivates children to take risks, make mistakes, cope with failure, and express feelings.

Play is engaging. It necessitates active, voluntary, and spontaneous involvement from children.

Play helps children develop language, motor skills, creativity, problem solving, and social skills.

All of these enhance a child’s overall well-being.

Play does not have to be costly.

When children play outdoors, free from digital gadgets and commercial toys, they turn to their imagination and create their own toys from dried leaves, twigs, stones, shells. Being outside allows children to utilize their five senses to get a good grasp of the world they live in. When we encourage them to smell leaves, the earth, a rotting fruit or let them feel the sun on their skin or play in the rain, it gives them an opportunity to talk about how they feel about their experiences.

Let them listen to birds, waves, thunder. Then ask them how it makes them feel, rather than suggesting a feeling usually attached to these sounds. If they feel fear from the sound of thunder, find out together why it makes a loud noise. When a child understands and discovers the reason behind things, they will form their own judgment and realize where their fear comes from. They can then make an informed decision if it really is something to be afraid of. Validating feelings, both comfortable and uncomfortable, aids a child’s emotional growth.

ORANGE PEELS The kids play with orange peels after preparing their morning snack. This exercise, playing with something natural, has a calming, sensory effect on children

Overcoming challenges and difficulties help build a happy child, be it jumping from one rock to the next while keeping their balance, unlocking a door with the correct key after numerous tries, or balancing a tower of blocks that is taller than they are.

Play is the force that motivates children to take risks, make mistakes, cope with failure, and express feelings.

A sense of achievement is important in a child’s growth. Once they conquer a challenge, they will graduate to something bigger, which in the long run builds confidence.

Believe that children are capable.

Sometimes, we underestimate the capacity of children because of their age. When I inform parents that their children eat on their own in school, they often find it difficult to believe, because at home they hardly lift a hand and eat only when they are fed.

CREATING CONNECTIONS Weaving with strips of fabric from old clothes, bed sheets, napkins to create tapestry and to hone the children’s fine motor skills

If a child cries over water spilling on their clothes, we may simply present the idea that there is a solution to this problem.
Honor their feelings by letting them cry, but also show them that changing into dry clothes addresses the situation.
Once they’ve calmed down, we can explain that if they can do something about their temporary problem, then there is no need to feel this same way the next time it happens. Eventually, they will learn to apply this thinking to other uncomfortable situations and carry it on as a habit when they are older.

Hold the children capable because they will feel better about themselves when they recognize their capabilities.

Once we give them a safe space to explore and play, they will discover themselves. When we validate their feelings, we assure them that how they feel is important to us. When we allow them to solve things on their own, we empower them to realize their capabilities.

When we focus on the inner self, the outer world takes care of itself.

True happiness comes from within, not from material things.

These two truths apply to children as much as they do to adults. The earlier we pass this on to them, the smoother their path to happiness.

Itsy Dazo

Are we happy because good things happen or do good things happen because we’re happy?

A mother’s love goes on forever