THROUGH UNTRUE
A few years ago, a fellow Dominican suffered a stroke in our summer house in Baguio City. His two pet dogs, named Sasha and Vera, stood quietly near the doorway as he was taken to the hospital, where he eventually passed away.
For many days, the two dogs stood by the door as if awaiting his return. Then, one day, they refused to eat, literally starving themselves to death. Their grief must have been so intense they would rather die than continue living without him.
It is difficult to ascertain if dogs can grieve or love as humans do. One dog owner told me: “Canine love and loyalty are only a product of behavioral conditioning. They exhibit these traits because we provide them with food, water, and other necessities. They don't love us; they just use us.” He concluded by saying: “Honestly, I love dogs. They are quite delicious.”
Such a utilitarian depiction of love may not apply to Sasha and Vera who died mourning the loss of their owner. Only those who love deeply can grieve and mourn profoundly. Many people value their dogs because they have experienced unconditional love from them.
For instance, when Leona Helmsley, a wealthy widow in New York, passed away, she gave nothing to her relatives but bequeathed $12 million to her dog named Trouble. The German countess Karlotta Liebenstein left an $80 million fortune to her dog Gunther III. Gail Posner, who lived in Florida, allocated an $8.3-million mansion and a $3-million trust fund for her three dogs.
In our Gospel reading today, Jesus commands us to love the way He loves us (John 15:9-17). It is a love that is unwavering, all-accepting, all-giving and all-forgiving. It is marked by compassion, understanding, and sacrifice. In one word, it is unconditional.
Are we capable of such a love? Dogs seem to excel at it more than we do. Many of us withhold our love when certain conditions are not met.
Perhaps when Jesus gave that challenge, He did not really expect every one of us to succeed, He wanted us all to try. In doing so, we demonstrate our courage to make a leap of faith — a willingness to invest our emotions, time, and energy even without any assurance that we will get anything in return. Inspiring examples of this abound.
For instance, physicians Gil and Zaida Gamilla celebrated their 49th wedding anniversary last April 26. When I asked Zaida how they stayed together that long, she replied: “When we got married, we promised each other that no matter what our relationship has to endure, we will continue to love, honor, and cherish each other. Whatever situation life brings us into, no matter what problems or difficulties life throws at us, we will continue to love each other.”
A friend learned unconditional love from her mother. He said: I know my mother loves me unconditionally. I have pictures when I was newly born showing that she fondled me in her arms, caressed, and embraced me. While growing up, I remember her waking up at night when I got sick. She sacrificed her career so she could fully devote her attention to me. My father loves me, too. But he does not have the singular proof of unconditional love that my mother can show — carrying me in her womb for nine months and risking her life to give birth to me.”
Loving unconditionally to the extent that we love even those who have hurt us makes us God-like. Mother Teresa once said: “Love until it hurts. If you persist in this, you’ll learn to love until it hurts no more.”