THROUGH UNTRUE
A few days ago, the House of Representatives approved, on the third and final reading, a bill legalizing absolute divorce in the country. Its proponent jubilantly declared that this “is a clear and resounding victory, signaling the imminent liberation of Filipino wives entombed in toxic, abusive, and long-dead marriages.” He seemed to imply that if marriage does not work out, couples must have the option to walk out.
Given the high rate of failed marriages today, why do people still get married? Perhaps it is because many men and women simply love the idea of marriage. They love it unto death, rushing into it with an overload of unrealistic expectations. They embrace marriage as they do a stuffed toy. They smother it. Such couples are often cited as proof of the failure of marriage. The truth is, it is not marriage that failed; they did.
One good reason why people still marry is that they still believe in their ability to decide and stand by that decision no matter what happens. They know that every choice involves the risk of being mistaken, yet they take the leap of faith. They do not wait until they are absolutely sure before choosing; rather, they choose first and then “make sure.” This means not only affirming that their decision is true and right but also exerting every effort to make the decision true and right for them. They understand that marriage is not a finished product but a lifetime endeavor they can accomplish together.
They also believe that marriage is not just a contract where people exchange goods and services; it is a covenant wherein a couple gives themselves to each other. It is rooted in a more sublime covenant that God established between Himself and us from the very beginning.
Those who advocate divorce may argue like the Pharisees who told Jesus that Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send his wife away. But to them, Jesus replied, “Moses did that because of the hardness of your hearts” (Mark 10:2-5). He added: “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Mark 10:6-9). Marriage is a sacrament of God’s unbreakable covenant with us and all of His creation.
Many will think these are all pious platitudes difficult to apply to real-life situations. They are convinced that legalizing divorce will promote peace in the family and boost the household’s finances and the nation’s economy. However, a study by the Australian Institute of Family Studies showed that in many countries where divorce is legalized, there is a substantial negative effect on household incomes in the short term, with no evidence of recovery over the medium term. In fact, in the USA, the negative economic effect of divorce continues to increase in proportion to the divorce rate.
Additionally, a few years ago, two universities in Oklahoma conducted research showing that the high rate of divorce and out-of-wedlock births were major causes of the state’s financial woes. Armed with this study, the governor set aside $10 million exclusively to promote and strengthen marriage and reduce the divorce rate. He believed that through bold government leadership the value of marriage can be emphasized in every major public agenda.
Sadly, many of our own legislators hardly take such bold initiatives worthy of emulation. Instead of passing legislation that promotes the stability of marriage, they advocate divorce as an escape valve, a light in the dark tunnel of marital entrapment.