We all have our fair share of family dramas and this becomes more evident come Christmas time when we are all forced by holiday circumstances to gather in one place. 

The Romualdezes have been described as far back as the late 1800s to be “as loud as an orchestra.” To this day, when together, we are not only loud but strong and independent in mind and soul. We are as my great uncle, the first native Filipino Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of the Philippines, writer, composer, musicologist, politician, and statesman Norberto L. Romualdez, described as “people who are brought up to be the captain of one’s soul.” Looking for the meaning of this, I read that, “captain of my soul” suggests you're in charge of your deepest feelings, desires, and beliefs. In a world full of distractions and expectations, staying true to yourself can be challenging but essential. This is so true and runs strong in some more than others belonging to our clan. Now put a bunch of “Rs” together with differing opinions and you get a full-on philharmonic!

You know the saying, be careful what you wish for. Well, I curiously wanted to know what it must have been like at family gatherings during major political events in our country’s history, such as during the turning point from Spanish to American colonial rule and from being an American colony to a republic. I have public documents and correspondence detailing the thoughts and opinions of a number of family members with opposing views and I wondered how they dealt with one another during those times. Were they successful in curbing their emotions when faced with family members with opposing sentiments at a family gathering? From my experience and, as a witness, yes there would be some “dead-mahan (not minding each other)” or avoidance, but at least they would show up. After all, isn’t that what the spirit of Christmas is all about? Still, some family members do opt to skip the Christmas events, including the Noche Buena. 

Do I regret making that wish to know how it feels? To know what it’s like? No, I was there to bear witness to how this family overcomes inter-familial adversity. I am not the first to do this in my family. This “burden” was bestowed upon me by previous family historians and “geneologists. My late cousin Nonoy Abella was filled with utmost relief when he turned over all the family documents to me, “Now I can die,” he says. I thought he was overly dramatic but realizing the responsibility of finding someone in the family who would be up to the task of recording our family history, I know now how he felt. Nonoy was designated by our Auntie Loring Romualdez-Ramos, who, in turn, was tasked to be the family historian by Nonoy’s father, Dr. Domingo Abella (1906-1976), a scholar, historian, and later director of the Bureau of Records, which was known from 1967 up until the early ’70s as the National Archives. My family story is no different from that of other families with the usual family dynamics at play. Maybe, most other family stories do not play so publicly but the template is the same. 

After Noche Buena, we have Christmas Day and the many days that follow, on which we think up occasions to eat the leftovers, leading up to New Year’s Eve. The Christian tradition of celebrating New Year’s Eve can be traced back to the implementation of the Gregorian calendar, which was established by Pope Gregory XIII in 1582. It officially declared Jan. 1 as the first day of the New Year, whereas Old Year’s Day, which is now called New Year’s Eve, was declared as the last day of the year (Dec. 31). 

Filipinos have established their own way of celebrating the coming of the New Year. This includes, among Christian Filipinos, attending mass before partaking of a midnight meal called Media Noche, during which 12 round fruits are served to represent the 12 months of the year. It is believed that fruits circular in shape, resembling coins and money, will bring good fortune. This is a derivative of the Spanish New Year’s Eve tradition of eating 12 grapes or las doce uvas (the twelve grapes of luck) at midnight to ensure fortune and prosperity for the coming year.

The wearing of polka dots is also quite a tradition, as is placing coins on windowsills to invite good fortune, opening doors and windows (despite the smoke from the firecrackers) for good luck to enter the home, jumping at midnight (for children), which is believed to make children grow tall. To be completely honest, I have my doubts with this one. 

Other traditions include making a lot of noise at midnight to drive away negative energy and bad spirits and starting fresh. What you do at the start of the New Year will follow you in the rest of the year, so make friends, avoid debt, and keep on loving.

Happy New Year everyone! Here is to peace, prosperity, and “love among all creatures on this earth.” May God bless us and keep us safe in the palm of His hand.