THROUGH UNTRUE
True love must be a choice made freely and deliberately. So why does God command us to love?
The commandment to love, as we read in today’s Gospel reading (Matthew 8:28-31), is not an imposed obligation that robs us of our freedom. Rather, through this commandment, God establishes a standard that elevates love above mere feelings, attraction, infatuation, obsession, mutual exploitation, or eroticism.
Jesus clearly articulates this standard: “A new commandment I give you: Love one another as I have loved you. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples” (John 13:34-35).
How does Jesus love us? He loves us unconditionally. St. Paul writes, “God proved his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). God stopped at nothing to demonstrate His love, even sacrificing His only begotten Son (John 3:16).
Since God created us in His image, He knows that we are capable of loving unconditionally. I recall a scene in a movie where a character bought flowers for a dear departed loved one with the dedication: “Never forget, never regret: a gift from above—unconditional love.” This is the standard of love that Jesus set for us.
For many of us, our capacity to love unconditionally is nurtured by our mothers, who, from our birth, held us in their arms, fed us, clothed us, caressed us, and embraced us. As we grew, they sacrificed much to devote their attention to us. To a great extent, fathers also contributed in helping us learn how to love without conditions. But they do not have the singular proof of unconditional love that mothers can offer. A mother carries a child in her womb for nine months and risks her life in the painful act of giving birth.
A married couple expresses their unconditional love for one another in their vows: “I will love, honor, and cherish you for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until death do us part.” Essentially, they are saying, “No matter how our circumstances change, I will not seek love elsewhere, for I will never withdraw my love.”
Loving others unconditionally is challenging, especially in a world where people are overly calculating and cautious, always looking for an advantage and wary of being taken advantage of. Contemporary notions of love frequently tie it to mutual benefit and the expectation that emotional investments will yield returns.
Unconditional love is also difficult for those who have experienced betrayal by loved ones. It is painful when your best friend turns into your worst enemy. This is why the commandment to love extends even to our enemies. Jesus taught: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may become children of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:44-45). Moreover, St. John the Evangelist wrote, “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For how can you say you love God whom you cannot see, and yet hate your brother or sister, whom you see?” (1 John 4:20).
Of course, loving your enemies does not mean allowing them to treat you like a doormat. It means remaining open to the possibility of forgiveness and not condemning an enemy as if they will forever be unlovable. Just as people can change for the worse, they can also change for the better.
Loving comes naturally to us, yet it can also be challenging and demands significant human effort. God established love as a commandment because, in our humanity, we often give up when confronted with difficulties. However, if God has commanded us to love, then, with God's grace, it is within our reach, for He would never ask us to do the impossible.