Once upon a time in Hollywood, to be a star meant becoming a global icon. It was a prestigious club that only the elite few could get into. You had to be an ultimate frame of perfection to the eyes of the audience. Once you reached the top, you belonged to everyone. Imagine the crowds, rushing for pictures and autographs, screaming for your attention. Fame, as they say, is not for the faint of heart.

These days, while the limelight can still be attained, many new artists have decided to push back on this parasocial notion. Many have made their boundaries clearer, and there are artists like Chappell Roan and Tyler, the Creator who are not afraid to call out those who overstep these boundaries. Snobbish as it may seem for some fans, this retaliation from famed icons is a positive step in the industry. After all, no matter how high up a pedestal we put some folks, they are still people.

Although these boundaries have been made clear, there are still those who can’t seem to grasp the idea of their idols refusing to indulge in some requests. You might have seen a post or two of those who complain about certain stars refusing a picture or refusing to give an autograph, often on the pretext that they are in a rush. These are the types who complain that it’s the artist’s obligation to give into such demands. Do we really deserve this much attention from our idols and icons? 

Another reason some artists have decided to be more aggressive in setting boundaries is how increasingly upsetting some actions of fans can be. There are those who have faced multiple stalkers, paparazzi hounding them nonstop, and others who would jump at the chance to have their five seconds of fame with them. Sad to say, there are even artists who meet their gruesome end due to the actions of a deranged fan. John Lennon comes to mind, after he met his untimely demise when The Beatles fan Mark David Chapman shot him down.

Most argue we deserve the attention because we, as fans, are the shoulders on which our stars stand tall like giants. Without our support, they would be nowhere. Therefore, they are obligated to treat us with respect and give into our “simple” demands. While it may seem only fair, we ought to remember these artists we have come to hold in high regard are people too. They have their own lives to attend to, families and friends to spend time with, and dreams and ambitions, as well as moods, similar to our own. To put things into perspective, think about those around you and how you spend time with them. You’re not available 24/7 so you still split your time and prioritize who you wish to be around more. Now imagine if all these people were to demand time from you and threaten to cut you off completely unless you met their expectations. Ridiculous right, not to mention undoable, if hordes, millions, thousands, or even 50 demand the same?

Our artists don’t owe it to us to stop whatever they’re doing to have a photo with us or to sign a memento we own—a cap, a shirt, a book, a concert ticket—of them.