THROUGH UNTRUE
Over the years, I have collected numerous wedding invitations, each exquisitely printed and containing valuable insights about marriage. One such invitation came from Dr. Grace Garayblas Gonzaga and her husband, Norman, both esteemed Catholic physicians from the University of Santo Tomas. They have dedicated their lives to reaching out to others, spreading God’s healing love and compassion. The invitation reads:
“Each of us is a half, incomplete,
But together we are as ONE.
In this, there shall be joy.”
I remember smiling when I read the words "half" and "incomplete," as some might interpret these as referring to their height. Grace is just under five feet tall, while Norman is a bit taller. However, the couple used these words to convey their belief that marriage is not addition. It is completion. As we read in the first reading of today's Mass, God willed that a man and a woman would become "one flesh" in marriage (Mark 10:6-9).
Despite their remarkable success as physicians, Grace and Norman felt a profound sense of incompleteness before they tied the knot. Like many of us, they came to intimately understand the meaning of God's words from today’s Mass: "It is not good for a person to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). We all desire to love and be loved because we are created in the likeness of God, who is a Trinity of Persons eternally giving and receiving the fullness of love.
Grace and Norman believed they were made to fulfill what was lacking in each other. Through the intertwining of their lives, the blending of their strengths and weaknesses, and the merging of their aspirations, they become a living sacrament of our union with God. This union was the reality enjoyed by our first parents in paradise, a reality lost through sin.
The essence of sin is separation—a deliberate breaking away from a beloved. This is why, when the Pharisees asked Jesus why Moses permitted divorce, He replied, "It was because of the hardness of your heart that Moses allowed it" (Mark 10:5). Divorce symbolizes the alienation, brokenness, and division created by sin.
In today’s context, this perspective may seem out of sync with contemporary views on marriage. Many couples believe that if a marriage does not work out, they have the right to walk out. Proponents of legalizing absolute divorce often view it as an escape route, a light at the end of a dark tunnel of marital entrapment.
The unfortunate reality is that absolute divorce undermines the possibility of genuine commitment in marriage. According to the American Psychological Association, approximately 40 to 50 percent of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, with the rate for second marriages even higher—approximately 60 to 67 percent. As Jesus rightly stated, divorce leads to "serial adultery" (Mark 10:11-12).
Proponents of divorce discredit marriage as though it is to blame for the suffering of many unhappy couples. Truth is, many couples marry because they are obsessed with the idea of being married. They rush into it with unrealistic expectations. They project their needs, desires, anxieties, hopes, and demands onto their partners. They smother marriage by embracing it like a stuffed toy. Such couples are often cited as evidence of the failure of marriage. If we come to think of it, it is not marriage that failed. The couples did.
Instead of advocating for the legalization of divorce, why can't our legislators pass laws and initiate programs that will protect marriage and encourage those couples who try their best to stand by their commitment despite all odds? After all, the marriage vow ends with "Until death do us part." If absolute divorce were passed, it would be "Until further notice."