Actor Elijah Canlas recently penned an open letter for his brother JM, a former child star who passed away recently.
In a Facebook post, Elijah recalled seeing his brother for the first time.
"Mom had chicken pox when she gave birth to you that’s why kuya Jerom and I weren’t able to meet you as soon as possible. But I was there when mom and dad first brought you home," Elijah said.
"They had to run some quick errands so they left you with me and the maid at home. I was home early since I was still in preschool. Our parents told me, 'Kuya ka na! Alagaan mo kapatid mo.' I vividly remember walking slowly to your room. You were on the bed sleeping. I was excited but shy. As I laid beside you, I just started to be mesmerized," he continued.
"Kuya na ako. Ayaw kong mainitan ka so I turned the fan up. That accidentally woke you up but you didn’t really cry yet. You just looked at me. Perhaps waiting for me to introduce myself. So I did. I kept talking to you like you would understand me. You were just staring at me until our parents arrived."
According to Elijah, growing up, JM always "outshone" him and their older brother, Jerom.
He related that at four years old, JM already joined them onstage performing in school musicals.
"You’re everyone’s baby boy," he said. "You’d also compete in Math quiz bees and win. You starred in Team Yey! — giving joy and inspiration to your generation. You weren’t really formally trained in acting like us but, oh boy, did you excel whenever you’re onstage or onscreen (watch Unconditional on Netflix to know what I mean). Mapa-Cinemalaya or Virgin Labfest pa iyan. You also remained to be the go-to guy for our country’s dubbing industry even as your voice changed over time (he dubbed Coco, Stranger Things, Home Alone, Extraction, Little Einsteins, among many more)."
Elijah remembered being in "awe" as he watched JM dubbed "Wednesday" show, telling him how "great" he was at what he does.
He stressed: "You taught yourself how to play guitar and the piano. You wrote songs and you played it for us. We’d be jamming together as a family on your facebook live because you love singing. You always had a knack with gaming and technology. We’d always run to you whenever we needed help with that techie stuff."
"I can go on and on about your achievements and success at your very young age. But most importantly to me, you’re the best little brother anyone can ever ask for. I am so so proud of you, JM. Iba ka," Elijah declared.
He related how they would call the young star "kulit" because JM talked and moved nonstop when he was younger.
"You always know how to make us smile and laugh up until you grew older. You manage to make all the people I introduce to you feel comfortable and impressed — no matter what their SOGIE is; no matter how old or young. Everyone is important to you," Elijah pointed out.
"You care for everything and everyone. You help and fight for the oppressed every chance you can. You always stand for what is right and just. You have the kindest and warmest heart. Everyone I know whom you’ve met loves you. You always end up being everyone’s favorite. Because you’re JM! The most intelligent, selfless, funniest, reliable, talented, and empathetic person. You really are the best of all of us."
Elijah admitted how he struggled to write the letter because he doesn’t think anything will be enough to honor JM.
"I always thought you deserved the best. That you deserved the world. But I realized that you are far too beautiful for this world, JM," he noted. "We do not deserve you. This world does not deserve you."
He then told JM: "Don’t worry about us. None of us are mad. We understand you completely. We just miss you, kulit. I miss you so f*ck*ng much."
Later, Elijah asked for forgiveness for all his "shortcomings."
"I’m so sorry we couldn’t take away your pain. The guilt and regrets will forever be with us. Walang hanggang patawad para sa lahat," he said.
"Thank you for all the times you’d help and take care of our family, for all the times you’d treat me food, teach me stuff I didn’t know, all the car rides, all the film and music suggestions, all the times we’d play games or sports, all the times you’d take photos of me and you’d let me take photos of your pogi face, all the jokes, all the good times and bad, all the lambing, hugs, and kisses."
He shared how they are not really affectionate as a family but JM never failed to make him feel his love and how proud he was of him.
"I want to thank you for so many more things," Elijah reiterated. "I am no one without you. Walang hanggang pasasalamat para sa lahat lahat."
According to him, they have an infinite amount of memories to remember JM by.
"Babawi kami, JM. We’ll continue all your dreams and goals for us and this country. We’ll carry on your amazing legacy. We’ll continue being kind and being there for whoever’s in need. Like you always do. We will live by you through each and every second of everyday. Walang makakatapat o higit sa’yo. Enjoy ka lang diyan! Don’t worry about us. No goodbyes. I’ll see you later, JM. I love you more than anything. Mahal na mahal ka namin. Mahal na mahal ka ni kuya. Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal! Habang buhay. Habambuhay."
JM's death was announced by his family early this month.
During the 17-year-old's interment, Elijah was emotional in delivering a message.
“Alam kong marami pong tanong, marami po tayong tanong kung bakit, kung paano, kung ano. Pero gusto ko lang po ipaalam na he's been battling with this for a while now and he fought a good fight," he said then, referring to JM's mental health struggles.
According to Elijah, he, himself, once battled with depression and his late younger brother was there for him.
"He's always there to make me laugh, he's always there to cheer me up," he said.
Elijah hopes that people will be more aware of mental health issues.