SILENT AS THE TREES, oil on canvas, 2023

Each one of us has a different coping mechanism when dealing with grief and loss.

What saved Billy Bagtas was his art and his cat named Keshi. In his latest show titled “A Glimpse of Night and Harmony,” Billy shares how these two became the miracles that comforted him in times he needed to be comforted the most.

Billy Bagtas

Billy intimately reveals how he lost his mother to a fight against cancer. “Inspirasyon ko po na magpatuloy sa art making ang aking pamilya (My family is my inspiration to pursue arts),” he says.

“Since noong nawala ang mom ko dahil sa cancer, mas lumalim yung pakikipag-ugnayan ko sa canvas. While I’m working sa paghagod ng brush, yung texture ng oil, yung buong kwento ng pyesa ito yung naging sandata ko kung paano tanggapin ang buhay (Since my mom died of cancer, I have developed a deeper relationship with the canvas. Working on the canvas, the stroke of the brush, the texture of oil paint, and the narrative of this whole exhibit—those became my tools to accept this life).”

FLY HIGH, oil on canvas, 2023

Rooted in the past and his painful experience, Billy wants to tell people that there’s always hope and “beauty in darkness.”

“I named this show ‘A Glimpse of Night and Harmony’ because it’s about looking back, especially to the dark, traumatic events in life,” he says. The night means the past, while the harmony indicates that our family has moved on with what happened to Mom. In a sense, we can say that even when we look back, there’s no longer the pain.”

PEACE INSIDE, oil on canvas, 2023

In most pieces in this show, people can see a cat. This cat is a heroine in the story. An angel in disguise that helped Billy face the realities of life. “I’m a cat person. I have a cat named Keshi,” he says. “Siya yung kasama ko at nakakaalam sa mga nangyayari sa buhay ko. Man and cat, ika nga. Grateful ako na nakilala ko si Keshi sa buhay ko. Nakuha ko s’ya from a previous owner kapalit ng catfood (He’s been with me all those times. He knows what’s happening in my life. Man and cat, as they say. I am grateful that I have Keshi in my life. Come to think of it, I got him in exchange of catfood).”

HELLO KITTY, oil on canvas, 2023

When asked about his favorite pieces among his works on exhibit, he says it’s the Silent as the Trees. “Portrait kasi naming family ito kasama si Keshi. Si mom yung symbol ng tree at naging foundation ng pamilya namin (It’s our family portrait with Keshi. The tree represents my mother who had been the foundation of our family),” he explains. “Nawala man siya, nag-iwan siya sa amin ng liwanag at sandalan. Masaya kami ngayon kahit miss ko na siya. Alam ko nakagabay siya sa amin, mahal na mahal ko ang mom walang kapantay (She might be gone, but she left us some light and something to lean on. I badly miss my mom but I know she’s still guiding us. I love her so much).”

Moving forward, Billy is hoping to mount a solo show at the Cultural Center of the Philippines. “I’m constantly thinking of who I am as a person and why I exist. Art for me is the way you accept life,” he says. “For my next concept for show, it will be about father and son, since it’s just my father and I living together now.”

“A Glimpse of Night and Harmony” by Billy Bagtas ran from May 25 to June 17 at the Artinformal Gallery, The Alley at Karrivin, Chino Roces Ext. Makati City.