WALA LANG
I suppose that in one’s senior years, one hopes to be mentally sound, to have good friends to bum around with, to have a large bank of happy memories, and have the joy of looking with pride at one’s children. For this article, the 600th of “Wala Lang,” I thought I’d share some thoughts that with luck might help make one physically, emotionally, and financially content in later life.
First. Balance professional and personal life. I had plenty of time when I was a college teacher. With few responsibilities, I could to go home for lunch and play with our kids, do laps at Makati Sports Club. Later, work forced me to leave the house early and arrive home late. Happily my wife made up for the shortfall and our four kids grew up to be normal, well-adjusted, and self-actualized adults. Their children too are okay.
What good is there for one to be super rich and super powerful but with drug addicts and ambitionless children wanted only by the police.
Second. Be self-reliant. Tatay walked me (age six) to school on day one but made me go home by myself. Of course, traffic was non-existent and the route was fairly simple—a right, a left, then right, and two lefts, 11-12 blocks in all from our house near Dimasalang to Albert Elementary School on Dapitan.
Arithmetic was my Waterloo. Tatay let me sweat, buying me workbooks to practice on. He let me work alone until I found an answer before he showed me a better solution. He stopped me from freezing though—once I tried to soak my feet in a palanggana of ice cubes to stay awake. I guess I was overacting, but all these taught me self-reliance, focus, and tenacity.
WHEN LIFE WAS YOUNG AND MELLOW The author and his family, a few of the most important things in a life full of adventures and misadventures, great challanges and opportunities
Item Three. Understand others. My father was a superintendent of schools and they used to hold a two-week convention at Baguio Teachers’ Camp every summer. Twice, at ages 12 and 13, Tatay arranged for me be to wait on tables, staying with others in the staff dorm. It was my first experience with a rough crowd—they were rough and was once threatened (maybe jokingly) with a knife—small lang naman, where I got an inkling not only of HRM but also of working people’s minds and life.
I was astonished to realize at an NGO I was involved in that some attendees in a training program were there not for advancement in life but for the daily allowance they were receiving. These were lessons that made me realize that others don’t necessarily think like me and that I need to be patient and understanding.
I suppose there was inconsistency in my upbringing. My parents wanted me to be self-reliant, to have my own mind. But then my mother was a strict disciplinarian. She wanted me to be obedient.
I learned from that too—passive resistance, when to retreat and fight another day, when to surrender, how to reason out, how to anticipate questions, and to be several steps ahead in an argument.
All these have been useful in real life when one has to understand others’ points of view, their objectives, constraints, strengths, and weaknesses, and that one needs to be flexible and open to compromise in resolving any problem at hand.
From all these I got into the habit of doing a post-mortem after every occasion, no matter how small, after every disaster and every success, to learn how to minimize the former and maximize the latter.
Fourth. Be curious. This was also a youthful lesson. Even before I could read, Tatay placed all 12 volumes of Compton’s Picture Encyclopedia where I could not miss them and I eventually read them all, several times. That gave me a little knowledge of everything from A to Z, made me curious and interested in a wide range of subjects, giving me friends not only in finance, accounting, economics, and banking, but also in cartography, heritage conservation, music from folk songs to opera, history, books and paintings, santos, oriental ceramics, yoga and scuba diving, gardening. I rarely got bored.
Fifth. Learn to say “No.” Teenagers and young adults encounter heavy peer pressure. Alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, idling, spending. Government officials have the same temptations. Requests for contract approvals, fund releases, exemptions from rules, reduction of fines and penalties.
Of course one has to say “no” nicely. When I was in government I had to say no often and a year later, I ran into a lady who couldn’t remember if I said “yes” or “no” to her request. All she remembered was how nice I was. That was nice of her.
Saying “No” could have its rewards too. Some of the people to whom I had said “No” in the past must have understood why and remembered. They did me favors without my asking when I was in need.
Sixth. Work hard, live within your means, save for a rainy day, balance investment and speculation. I am half Ilocano so thrift comes naturally. I still have the PCI Bank—now RCBC—credit card I got in 1982, although they never made too much money on me. I’ve always paid my bills in full every month end.
After almost 30 years in government, from college graduation in 1957 to EDSA I in 1986, I had a small stock portfolio, a townhouse I was renting out and for which I was still paying installments, a little cash in bank, and ₱600,000 in a lump sum GSIS retirement benefit, not the millions upon millions government retirees now receive.
I had to buy a car. That took care of ₱200,000. I made some stock investments with the second ₱200,000 and bought a farm with the balance. The car has long rusted away but the stock market has gone up and land has appreciated nicely. I went into professional practice. It took a lot of effort but in time, I was able to send my children to some of the best schools here and abroad, travel occasionally, and indulge in my hobbies.
And seventh. Move on. I’ve had my share of tragedies and successes. I trusted people I shouldn’t have, have been blamed for things I didn’t do, had life-diminishing colleagues. I’ve lost loved ones.
I’ve had regrets—things I should have done, things I shouldn’t have done. But then I’ve had victories too. One shouldn’t be defeated by defeat, or rest on one’s laurels. I’ve learned is to ask, after every crisis and after every triumph as well, “Okay, what do I do next.” It’s best to move on.
Notes: (a) The first article of Wala Lang was published on 3 August 2009; and (b) I presented some of these thoughts at a meeting of the Financial Executives’ Institute of the Philippines (FINEX) on Nov. 5, 2021.
Comments are cordially invited, addressed to [email protected].