THROUGH UNTRUE
Fr. Rolando V. De La Rosa OP
We have all experienced having enemies. On social media, these can be people whom we have unfollowed, unfriended, blocked, or canceled. We avoid and ignore them, or pretend they do not exist. However, denying their existence does not take away the resentment we feel. As one song goes, "Madali namang iwasan ang kaaway mo; mahirap lang talagang iwasan ang nararamdaman mo."
In today's gospel reading, Jesus says: "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:43-45). Surely, Jesus is not telling us to embrace our enemies and treat them like friends or family. I interpret these words to mean that we must remain open to the possibility of forgiveness and not condemn our enemies as permanently unlovable.
Forgiveness does not mean excusing an enemy's behavior or allowing him to escape the consequences of his actions. The demands of justice need to be served, especially when the hurt he has inflicted is traumatic and he does not apologize or refuses to take responsibility for his actions.
But what if justice seems unattainable because of the weakness of our legal system? We can still decide to forgive for our own personal healing and growth. One psychologist advises: "Forgive, not because your enemy deserves it, but because you deserve real peace." Besides, even if justice has been done, it cannot change the past or bring back what was lost. Often, only forgiveness can bring peace and closure to our tortured hearts.
Jesus's command is also not about forgetting. George Santayana once wrote: "He who does not remember the past is condemned to repeat it." How can we prevent a similar offense from happening in the future if we simply forget it? We have to learn from our past experiences to avoid stumbling on the same stone twice.
Forgiveness also does not necessarily mean reconciliation. Reconciliation involves restoring a relationship to its previous state or repairing a broken friendship. This requires the cooperation of both parties. A person can forgive even if he knows that reconciliation is no longer possible.
Forgiveness is difficult, but it has a transformative effect. In fact, Jesus's command to love our enemies is excellent medical advice. Unforgiveness consumes a lot of energy, clouds our judgment, and makes us do things we later regret. In contrast, forgiving one's enemies can lead to lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. It also helps us sleep better.
Perhaps the most rewarding effect of forgiveness is that we become more like God, as we read in today's gospel reading: "Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may become children of your Father in heaven (Matthew 5:44-45). St. Paul wrote that "while we were still sinners, or while we are still His enemies because of our sins, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).
One beautiful story illustrates the wisdom of St. Paul's words. An American Jewish tourist in Israel met an accident and was promptly brought to the hospital. He became anxious when he learned that his attending physician was a Palestinian whose parents died during a Jewish military operation. He became more afraid when the physician said: "When my parents died, I vowed to take vengeance.”
The Jew braced himself for what would happen. But the Palestinian gently touched the bandaged wounds of the Jew and said. “This is my vengeance, my friend. This is my way of protesting against all the violence in the world. I aim to destroy violence by healing the wounds it inflicts. This is the kind of vengeance that makes us resemble God, who shows mercy and forgiveness even when we do not deserve these.”